An e-card to John Fossil Fool McCain
Happy birthday, McCainosaurus!
Today you are 72. Years. Old!
For your birthday I’d have bought you a copy of 72 Things Younger Than John McCain, but you probably already have that book...
Hey, McCainosaurus, I note that your new slogan is “country first.”
Like the rest of us are a bunch of terrorist-lovin’ traitors who don’t put our country first. That is what you’re saying, isn’t it?
But what were you doing three years ago today?
Were you putting our country first?
No, you were putting yourself first – on the occasion of your 69th birthday, you were having birthday cake in Arizona with George W. Bush. This was the very same day that Hurricane Katrina hit and ended up killing more than 2,000 Americans in the nation’s worst natural disaster that was preventable.
“Country first.” Yeah -- right.
Kinda like "compassionate conservatism," huh?
Hey, while I have you, interesting veep pick there, Johnnie: Sarah Quayle -- er, Palin. What are the new campaign bumper stickers going to say? “McCain-WTF? 2008”?
Really, please, help me here. Please help me understand what your strategy is in picking as your No. 2 an anti-choice, fundamentalist "Christian" woman who has been the governor of a tiny state (Alaska’s population is below 750,000, making it the least densely populated state) for less than two years – and who before that was the mayor of a town of fewer than 10,000 people.
Sarah "One Heartbeat Away" Palin is ready to be president in the event of your death, which, given the fact that you turn 72 years old today, seems like quite a possibility?
Johnnie Boy, please help me understand whose vote you’re trying to get with your choice of Sarah Paleface -- er, Palin.
The majority of Billary Cunton’s supporters are pro-choice and wouldn’t vote for an anti-choice candidate – or for a Repugnican, male or female.
The majority of die-hard Repugnicans, even the female ones, still believe in white-male rule. How excited are they going to be knowing that a woman might be president?
You’re going after the youth vote? But most youth are pro-choice and support same-sex marriage, yet Heartbeat Away is anti-choice and anti-gay. And she asserts that mankind doesn't contribute to global warming and at least at one time thought that it was OK to teach creationism in public schools.
Sarah Quayle-Palin is a stupid white man trapped in a woman’s body. That she’s a woman is supposed to fool all of us?
My only truly Democratic senator, Barbara Boxer, put it best:
"The vice president is a heartbeat away from becoming president, so to choose someone with not one hour's worth of experience on national issues is a dangerous choice.
"If John McCain thought that choosing Sarah Palin would attract Hillary Clinton voters, he is badly mistaken. The only similarity between her and Hillary Clinton is that they are both women. On the issues, they could not be further apart.
"Sen. McCain had so many other options if he wanted to put a [Repugnican] woman on his ticket, such as Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison or Sen. Olympia Snowe -- they would have been an appropriate choice compared to this dangerous choice."
Actually, I like this quote even better. It's from Lyda Green, a Repugnican who is the Alaska state Senate president, speaking of Quayle-Palin: "She's not prepared to be governor. How can she be prepared to be vice president or president?"
Well, anyway, happy birthday and good luck, Johnnie.
You'll need it.
6:32:28 PM 
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