The Middle Finger
The Middle Finger is a big deal in our house right now. It is the topic of almost every conversation between my 6 year old son and myself. It is a fascination the likes I have not seen since the compulsive mooning streak of Winter 2002.
There is an understanding that The Middle Finger is a bad thing, though I haven't actually spoken the bad words that The Middle Finger is supposed to represent. My response to what it means is that "I don't like you very much." Or to make it more offensive to my 6 year old's ears, "You are a stupid idiot and I don't like you at all."
His main concern is for the unintentional "birding" of someone. For example, what if you inadvertently let that finger drop last when you are making a fist? Or if you are counting and you count "One" on your middle man instead of your pointer? Is that bad?
This morning it was, "What if you hold up your middle toe. Is that bad?"
Just now at bedtime, and might I add, probably the worst case scenario ever imagined, "What if you were only born with middle fingers? Would you get in trouble then?"
No. You wouldn't get in trouble if you were only born with your middle fingers, but wouldn't that just be awful? Let's not even think about it. But if we did ponder it, how would one know that the one finger on each hand was the middle finger? How could it be the middle finger if there weren't fingers on either side of it?
I take it back, there was a worse scenario: "What if you cut off all your fingers except for The Middle Finger and so it was always sticking up and you could tell that it was The Middle Finger because the stumps were left beside it to show which finger it was? Then would that be bad?"
Of course, that would be bad. But not because you're eternally flipping someone off, it would be because you cut off the rest of your fingers.
Please, please, please don't think about it anymore and will you just go to sleep?
Good night.
9:10:07 PM 
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