The Questions
2) Describe briefly your understanding of what it means to you to be an inquirer. Please include the most important events, experiences, and persons that have prompted you to become an inquirer.
I feel that becoming an inquirer is a chance for me to declare my calling and begin a process towards ordination. It is making a commitment to the entire process, not just for me, but for my family as well.
For me to be an inquirer does not mean that I am just now hearing God’s call for ministry and answering it, because I feel God has called me to all of the ministries I have previously served, and ordination is just the next step along the way.
For a long time I felt unworthy of being ordained. I loved serving God, but I didn’t think He could possibly use a sinner such as me in the pulpit or in full time ministry. Over time I have learned that God can especially use a sinner such as me, because in my own weaknesses His strength is evident.
One of the nominal events in discerning my call was when I found out about the suicide of my youth pastor. I always looked up to him and admired his teaching and preaching. He supported me during the turbulent teen years, and in my service to youth ministry I always used him as an ideal for my relationships with the youth and for my teaching the Word. He was easygoing and super fun, but always worked God and Jesus into the experience. He opened up the scriptures to me and with his guidance I began to enjoy them and find life application within the words. When he committed suicide, it was the first time I realized that he didn’t understand his own worth to so many of my friends and so many youth after me. It may seem ironic, but his death was especially meaningful to me because I realized that even though I suffer from depression, I can still be useful to God’s ministry. Shortly after his death I received affirmation after affirmation from youth that I have served over the years. I realized that God could use me, and indeed has been using me ever since my late teens.
I also have received many affirmations from the pastors I have served with over the years. Not only have they given me verbal praise, but have allowed me to lead in many aspects of the ministry. With the guidance of Pastor * of the United Methodist Church in *, CT, I became a licensed Lay Speaker. I found much fulfillment in preaching several times, and gained confidence in that skill. He provided constant encouragement to discern my call.
When I returned to Kansas, I was allowed to lead in many ministries at First Presbyterian Church in *. Not only was I encouraged to preach, but I was entrusted with the Children’s Ministry program. Reverend Danny * and Reverend Joyce * have been very supportive and very encouraging with my discernment process. I truly admire their work at my church and love to be around them. They have a thorough understanding of the way the Presbyterian Church works, and with their guidance I have seen our church transform over the past six years. I love the way they have provided education for our congregation and encouraged spiritual growth; I feel our Elders and Deacons are now much more validated in their work, and the officers are treated with dignity and respect.
My most recent affirmation that I should follow the call into ministry was in being hired by the First Presbyterian Church in * to develop their youth ministry program. I absolutely love my job and feel fulfilled in what I do every day. I love being part of a ministry team, and Lay Pastor Diane * and Reverend Roland * are very enthusiastic and supportive as I begin the journey towards ordination.
Why is it that I have to use so many words to answer a question like that? The question itself was quite loaded -- there was a lot to cover. So as I look back over it I suppose there isn't any extraneous blathering.
7:45:16 AM 
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