| Rayne Today Searching for dharma, in spite of the weather...
Just for grins… Some time ago, say last September or October, The Raven published an extremely helpful link to a diagram with instructions on defense against telemarketers. (Testimony: My hubby, not exactly a blog-happy guy, took that one piece to heart and has since mastered the fine art of harassing telemarketers.) A friend sent the following, umm, instructions for dealing with telemarketers; this will augment my hubby’s tool box quite nicely. Hope that stockbroker tries to cold-call him at the office again very soon…if you’ve seen this before, sorry; if not, enjoy! Things To Say To Telemarketers 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . " 3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?" 5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from. 6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up. 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?" 8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?" 9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger. 10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees. 11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up. 12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up. 13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. 14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. 15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer. 16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number. 17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes." 18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, 19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . . 20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down. 7:14:06 PM  comment []RantsCounterRants: Anti-terrorism draft – good thing or bad thing? Read it for yourself, check it out. What do you think? InfoWorld cites the Center for Public Integrity on the anti-terrorism draft now under review. I’m very concerned about the loosey-goosey quality of the wording that’s implied in the articles at InfoWorld and CPI. Somebody deems a situation an “emergency”, begins monitoring of one’s communications without a warrant of any kind. Does it even have to be a “clear and present danger” to be an “emergency”, I wonder? So now some unspecified law enforcement or governmental figure can arbitrarily deem a situation to be an emergency – is an emergency terrorism or is terrorism an emergency? Who’s going to define terrorism, the same person who defines an emergency? What if speaking negatively to a broad audience is seen as terrorist activity, by virtue of its potential to undermine authority? Does that mean posting in an e-mail or a blog against the current administration is a terrorist threat and an emergency? Adding insult to injury: this draft may have made the rounds to VP Cheney and Speaker of the House Hastert without so much as a by-your-leave to the public. What a load of crap, trying to slide this one under the table. As soon as I can download a copy of the draft, I’m going to review it with a fine toothed comb, to see exactly what it is our fearless leaders are trying to pull over on us. The CPI site may be busy with downloading, I can’t seem to connect properly. This whole thing leaves me with a really creepy feeling and a bunch of unanswered questions.
UPDATE -- 5:00 pm EST --
Now I'm really concerned. I could only open one page of the .PDF file at CPI's site; what I saw was a poor copy, parts of the text truncated. I couldn't open the HTML version at the alternate site, dailyrotten.com; kept getting a 404 error. What little I did see at CPI worried me a LOT.
Finally cracked the HTML version at dailyrotten.com; good thing, it's more complete. And very scary, note this piece alone:
Doesn't the phrase "greater flexibility" strike you as a little broad? The requirement this suggested change eliminates has nothing whatsoever to do with flexibility of usage, only flexibility of chain of authorization. Fast and loose, that's how it looks...and I'm only on Page 2! UPDATE -- 5:15 pm EST -- It's worse, only made it through the next paragraph. Read it yourself and contact your Senator now, find out when we are going to see a formal public discussion as Sen. Patrick Leahy has suggested. This is bad stuff and I'm only looking at a draft of suggested changes, not the actual text of a new draft.
comment []What’s for Dinner?: Hubby’s away, time to play… No, you silly lecher! It’s not what you think! (Although edible chocolate body paint does sound amusing if messy; maybe I should post a recipe for making your own at home…) comment []DharmaSurfing: The Interview, looming on the horizon... For those of you who’ve been job hunters: did you ever experience a sensation where all of your life kind of tunneled down to that fateful few moments, spiraled downward in tightening circles into the interview? I feel like that. Like I’m getting sucked into a vortex. Cheese-on-rice, I tell myself, tomorrow’s just another damned interview. Like the hundreds of interviews I’ve either had or given in my lifetime. No big deal, piece of cake, I’m not heavily invested in the outcome, I won’t curl up and die if I don’t get this job. My kids don’t even want me to get this job because of the shift work hassles this will entail. Maybe that’s the real problem; I’m conflicted about this being in the best interest of my family. I keep thinking of all those poor single parents – hell, anybody with tech skills out of work -- who have no choice but to lunge at jobs like this one, people who have fewer resources than I have. Will I take this purely out of guilt if offered, should I feel remorse or glee? If it’s not offered, should I feel any regret? Will I suddenly lapse back into the mold I left 7 months ago, a corporate “ho”, giving it up for da’ man? Or will being a mere contractor keep me from sliding down that slippery slope? Will the pay be so laughable as to make this agonizing more pathetic than it is? Or will the meager benefits make this all worthwhile? Argh…I gotta’ find something constructive to do today, or I’m going to go batty from this useless navel-gazing. comment []RantsCounterRants: Not Today? Maybe tomorrow? E-mail sent to NBC: Date: From: "Rayne Today" <rayne_today@yahoo.com>; Subject: Today Show To: today@nbc.com Dear Sirs/Mesdames; I especially enjoyed Katie Couric's interview of Former President Bill Clinton this morning on Today. I hoped to re-read excerpts from this interview at your Today Show webpage. However this interview is not featured or mentioned in any way as of Thanks very much for your attention, ~Rayne Today It does seem rather odd they’ve got the interviews with both President Ford and Ted Turner on the web page, but nothing at all on Was it something he said? (Especially the parts about the UN and consensus?)
UPDATE -- 12-FEB-03 9:15 pm EST --
Looks like NBC finally updated their website with the interview: http://www.msnbc.com/news/871318.asp?0dm=V11LV
No e-mail response, though. Whatever. comment []
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