U

 

DEAR ANDREW SULLIVAN:

 

Since you’re so convinced the unilateral military action in Iraq was absolutely necessary for humanitarian reasons;

 

Because you’re so damned articulate you get front page billing:

 

Perhaps you can explain to General Tommy Franks and Donald Rumsfeld that the Save the Children plane should be escorted by the military to Arbil now, instead of blocked in violation of the Geneva Convention.

 

RIGHT NOW, you war-supporting dewy-eyed, sentimental liberal, you.

 

Or should I suppose liberals of your fair-weather ilk believe the Geneva Convention only applies to Americans under fire and not to starving, injured Iraqis in this imperfect world?

 

~Rayne

 

p.s.  Don't waste your time (or mine) answering that question.  I'm sure I can guess the answer.

 

 

  5:13:38 PM    comment []

U

 

Surprise!  Looting and vandalism, redux

 

Rummy blew it all off as a casualty of war:  “Looting is an unfortunate thing. Human beings are not perfect…To the extent it happens in a war zone, it's difficult to stop."

 

Then:

 

Bush Cultural Advisers Quit Over Iraq Museum Theft

 

Not one adviser quit.  Two.  There could be more.

 

It seems to me, though, that the wrong people are quitting.

 

  4:57:49 PM    comment []

Õ

 

Ooh, a virgin

 

You know what’s really cute?  Really, really, fluffy-bunny cute?

 

A teenage kid, flush with excitement about his first real job interview.

 

I want to laugh in a maniacal, evil wicked-witch-of-the-west sort of way, seeing his bright eyes, pinkened cheeks, hands quivering with excitement as he takes the freshly typed and printed resume from my hands with a breathless thank-you-so-much.

 

Oh my.  Was it so long ago that we looked like this, baby-cheeked, still softly rounded and not hard-bitten along the edges?  Warm, fuzzy, huggable, instead of tense and defiant?

 

I want to say, Awww, how cute, torn between really meaning it and being cynically realistic about the bobsled ride to hell that happens next. 

 

Yeah, that downhill rush from eager, fawning disciple to toughened, unsentimental ironist, that shift in consciousness from insanely happy about the open sky-open road-open future to the sobered narrow path of plodding contentment.

 

I bite my tongue as I step back to enjoy the view of those sunny skies for that brief moment.

 

Ha-hahahahaha, I’ll think to myself in a bit. 

 

And later, I’ll think, Wow, you’re such a cynical bitch.

 

But not now.

 

  4:32:25 PM    comment []

–

 

PROPS TO PEEPS

 

Yeah…I can taste ‘em now.  Lightly sugar-coated crunchy on the outside, softly gooey on the inside.

 

Peeps.  Mmm-mmm.

 

Don’t forget: they should be slightly resistant to the tooth, allowed to stale overnight outside the package (the best way to serve them, in my opinion!). 

 

I’ve made the obligatory purchases of sacrificial Peeps: a package each for the kids, my spouse, sister and nephew.  They’ll go in their Easter baskets, satisfying the family’s seasonal urge to munch on tender yellow chicks and purple bunnies.

 

But those are merely diversionary Peeps, meant to keep the prying eyes and sticky fingers well and away from my personal stash of Peeps.  Sshhh -- they’re tucked away safely in the bowels of the closet, inside a box with all the other odd and sundry items I have squirreled away in case of an emergency.  Nestled between the extra birthday, wedding, baby shower gifts, my stash of Peeps will sustain my urge for a fat-free sweet until the next major holiday when Peeps again appear on the store shelves.

 

Halloween.  Black cat and the elusive chocolate bat Peeps.  Mmm-mmm.

 

Followed by Christmas snowmen Peeps, the best kind for Peep jousting.  Yummm.

 

This year will be extra Peep-a-licious, though; the manufacturer, JustBorn, will celebrate the 50^th anniversary of Peeps.  I can’t wait to see if any new Peep products will come out to celebrate.

 

There’s supposed to be patriotic Peeps on the market, too, red, white and blue ones.  But I can’t bring myself to eat anything blue.  It’s just not natural…

 

As if Peeps are natural in any other respect.

 

---

 

More Peep fun:

 

Lord of the Peeps – LOTR painstakingly enacted by Peeps

 

50^th Anniversary Peep Basket Contest – Vote now!  (which one do you think should win?)

 

Annual Peepathon! – Sunday April 20^th 7:30pm EDT – don’t miss it, click on link to listen in at Animal Talk Radio!

 

MWT about Peeps -- from Salon archives

 

Peep Porn -- how about some hot chick-on-Peep action?

 

Peep Jousting -- Safe for those with pacemakers; no microwaves in use!

 

  1:38:00 PM    comment []