Democratic Party National Convention Schedule 2004
1:00PM - Opening. Singing The International
1:05 - "Why foreign leaders support Kerry's candidacy." Symposium by Jacques Chirac, Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.
2:00 - "Bush is worse than Hitler (PS: Go see my newest movie!)" by Michael Moore
2:30 - "I was in Vietnam" by John Kerry
2:50 - "YEEEARGH! by Howard Dean
3:00 - "I have a new book out that is so much more exciting than anything Kerry has to say! Nyah Nyah Nyah!" by Bill Clinton
3:45 - Singing The Marseillaise. Break.
5:00 - "The Klan Endorses Kerry" by Robert Byrd
5:30 - "I was in Vietnam, really" by John Kerry
6:00 - "Why 9/11 was our just deserts" by Noam Chomsky
7:00 - "Why I will not accept the nomination now" by John Kerry
7:10 - "Nominations acceptance speech" by John Kerry
7:30 - "Advice to Teresa on presidential indescretions" by Hillary Clinton
8:00 - "I was in Vietnam, dammit!" by John Kerry
8:30 - "Groan man" by al-Gore
9:00 - "How botox helps me waffle with a straight face" by John Kerry
9:15 - "Drive safely home!" Final words from Edward Kennedy
9:30 - Singing Deutschland, Deutschland Über Alles. The end.
Disclaimer: This is a joke. I don't really think the Democratic party is any more communist than the Republicans are fascists (though both party have people who are close to both). I wrote the above as a humorous response to this Republican Party convention schedule (which is funny) and this one (which really isn't that funny). It's a joke! Get it?
5:52:53 PM 
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