Holy Penis of Jesus!
No, this is not a joke, or really, it is a true joke, and they are always the funniest. For a great laugh, read this Wikipedia article on The Holy Prepuce, or the Holy Foreskin.
Yes, it is what you think it is.
Orthodox Christian belief has it that Jesus ascended bodily into Heaven forty days after his resurrection from the dead. This would mean that Jesus' foreskin (removed at his circumcision) would be one of the few physical remainders of Jesus left behind on Earth.
Again meaning, of course, that it would become one of the very popular relics in the Middle Ages, when probably a forest of splinters of the Holy Cross was peddled around Europe. There were also a number of foreskins around, possessing certain holy powers. Don't ask.
The authenticity of the Holy Foreskin claimed by the St. John Lateran church in Rome is said to have been proven in 1527, when the troops of Holy Roman Emperor Charles V sacked Rome. The relic fell into their hands for a time, and was allegedly put to the test by bringing a virgin girl before it, whereupon the foreskin enlarged, as it seems would have been expected in such circumstances.
God, apparently, is known to have a thing for virgins, still possessed by his foreskin after all those years.
In time the Church may have came to realise that the holy foreskin would be the butt, or tip, of a number of jokes.
Interest in the Holy Foreskins has been specifically downplayed, with the observation in 1900 that these particular relics encouraged 'irreverent curiosity'.
Which is a shame, really.
12:17:20 AM
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