This is some scary ass shit:

PICK UP YOUR OWN DAMN SOCKS.

After reading some of these, I never ever ever ever ever want to be in a relationship again. Ever.

8:53:31 PM    sro home /

Funny stuff.

TRUE PORN STORE CLERKS.

6:45:12 PM    sro home /

"Jude Law's Baby Takes Ecstasy"

I don't know tons about babies, but one thing I do know about after my long and extensive social career is drugs. I've never spent an evening high in an ER (thank god) but I have spent time high in line for coatcheck at a club and the experience can't be much worse. There's the waiting, the illogical and unexplainable shifts in status and dealing with curt and uncaring staff. The worse thing about being on X in a hospital would probably be the bright lights and the thought alone makes me shudder.

Hopefully his child will be fine. The report states it was only a portion of a hit and stomachs were pumped.

It was a children's party at a London club, one of what must be an underground movement of Kiddy Raves. Who else but a five year-old would lose a hit of X? When I was taking drugs, I was as certain of their whereabouts as I was of my arms. The stuff wasn't cheap and since it usually formed the lynchpin of my evening, was as coddled as a newborn.

Hopefully there will be no long-term damage to Law's baby. Years from now, if someone mentions her father was a Robot Hooker, she might have a moment and ascribe the comments to some drugged memory.

Ecstasy is, after all, a drug prescribed for therapy. Granted the street stuff could be chock full of any number of things and would have limited benefits. Still, who knows what insights babies might have? Maybe crying isn't the most effective method of expressing oneself, maybe having some Quality Time with your toes is another way of resolving anger issues.

It's worth a shot. I'd pay good money to see Dubya and Saddam sitting in diapers, gnawing on the remains of an X tab and cooing over all the pretty lights. If that wouldn't be Ecstasy, it'd be pretty damn close.

2:45:52 PM    sro home /

Now that My Big Fat Greek Wedding has hit Super-Indy film status, get ready for Hollywood's Greek Phase. Somewhere right now, someone is in a Studio office pitching all things Greek. Greek's are certain to be seen as the New Italians and the prospect of Greek Potential is certainly being weighed for it's marketing appeal.

It's bound to be an uphill battle. My stepfather was Greek, so blond-haired and blue-eyed as I am, I was raised in a semi-Greek household.The most obvious distinction is their love of food, although that's a Minority given, food being the most available way to retain individuality against whatever Majority surrounds them. Greek food is to die for but in terms of the general pop, I don't see the breakout potential of, say, pizza. The likelyhood of "Two Guys, A Girl and a Stuffed Grapeleave Stand" is a long shot.

There's also not the whole Mafia thing, real or imagined. Growing up in Florida, the biggest all-Greek business I heard of was sponge diving in the Gulf of Mexico. As far as I know, it's not a business rife with violence or family struggles, but hey, we're talking Hollywood here. There may be a Big Russian Interest and Greek Sponge Divers may find themselves needing to branch out to, say, decorative shells.

The Greek Orthodox Church is also less visible than Catholicism, another potential difference yet to be explored. The biggest religious holiday for Greeks is Easter, even having it's own day different (sometimes) from everyone else's Easter. For a kid, this was a Big Bonus, extending the candy/egg/chocolate period for up to a week or two. Our family would go to a huge picnic where the main points were to a) eat until you burst and b) drink Ouzo and eat until you burst. While the idea of huge meals wasn't foreign to a Southerner like myself, the ingredients were. Grape leaves? Lamb? Honey poured over pastry sheets? It was like some Weird Alternative Universe where the rule was Everything Was Edible and you would no more fast than you would jump off a building. Even my Stepfather cooked Greek food, the one and only reason my mother let him use the kitchen.

I don't particularly remember Greeks being big and fat, though now the lexicon is bound to join them together forever. Probably not the choice of description I'd have chosen but the options are limited and something had to give. My High Cholestorol Greek Wedding doesn't have the same ring to it and certainly doesn't invoke the sense of joviality and hospitality that being Big and Fat does.

So now we wait. The movie is supposedly already being made into a sit-com and it'll be interesting to see what material the writers plumb for comedic relief. If you don't think they'll go for some Anal Sex jokes, don't hold your breath. When it comes down to dollars and cents, anything is fodder for the Big Payoff.

10:04:15 AM    sro home /