I got several links via "SpongeBob SquarePants" and "gay". I smell a market.

I suggest SpoogeBob NoPants, the story of a single, buff sponge (or poolboy) and his wacky, kooky shenanigans (or orgy) with his good pals (plumbers), Patrick (Patrick works) and Squidward (aka Paul). SpoogeBob, or Spoo to his co-workers, is neither square nor yellow with these wild'n'wet fellows ( by the guesthouse) and mayhem ensues (money shot).

From the producers of Tell-a-Hubby and The Powerbutt Boys.

10:02:03 PM    sro home /

NBC's started a new trend of pushing it's sit-coms as "dramady". I'm guessing this is all because of Friends which any entertainment mag will tell you has rebounded because of it's "familiarity" and more significant plotlines. They've taken this news to heart and have begun touting Will and Grace and the new show Good Morning Miami like they're Dynasty without the good stuff (the campy hair and the cat-fights).

Do I really care about Will and Grace's friendship drama? I barely care about Monica and Chandler's wedding so the answer would be no. This apathy certainly carries over to GMM, a show about "fate" bringing together a hairdresser with sucky taste in men and her Banana Republic Boss. Ew.

The trailers make everything slo-mo, as if seeing the action blurred adds some realism and makes us Care more. They also play a snippet of Serious Dialogue, like a movie trailer that plays the one joke you know is going to be the only funny thing in the whole flick.

It's a sign Someone is taking things Too Seriously (the someone maybe being Me) and personally I'd go for less Situation - which never implies a Good Thing - and more Comedy.

7:35:31 PM    sro home /

There's a story in Salon today about a Blogger who's supposedly a homeless guy in Nashville.

I saw this on Law and Order once. There's a Terminally Ill Girl who writes moving and thought-provoking books. However while investigating a murder, the detectives find noone had actually met her. She only communicated by phone and in her collegues' eagerness to believe in her ability to Triumph Over Evil, they insisted she actually exists. Eventually she got caught, people got sent to jail and whattayaknow, Good Won Over Evil.

I could just be jaded. I do know from personal experience making up a life on the Internet isn't hard to do. Years ago when I first went on the Internet and was green to the power it possessed, I created an Alternate Person on AOL. It was a man who was nothing at all physically like me but he had an occupation (not mine), a name (not Hugh) and certain preferences (well, some of them mine). Granted, I have a vivid imagination and I'm a quick learner but in no time at all I had pictures culled from various websites, quite a number of them, that proved "my" existence.

It was fun in a "Hidden Camera" kind of way, watching people's unsuspecting reaction to what I knew was fake. Out of boredom, I sometimes pushed the conversational bounderies as far as I could, curious to see when, if ever, the other person would hesitate. They hardly ever did, spurned it seems by their own eagerness to bring fantasy into reality. I finally stopped when one night I received a phone call threatening "me" with having an affair with a guy's lover. "I" wasn't home but when "I" returned, I quickly put an end to "My's" use of my computor.

I've never been in Nashville Guy's position but if I were, I hope I wouldn't be spending hours writing journal entries in a library when I could be out looking for some cash. I'd probably also take a ticket to the Symphony and hawk it for money for food. Finally I definately wouldn't waste time thinking about getting a book deal. That's more than fantasy, that's the Breaking Point and that's the sign it's time to stop and think about what we're doing.

3:48:15 PM    sro home /

Fortunately I didn't personally know anyone who died in the 911 catastrophe and aside from the emotional scarring, have moved on with my life and tried to regain normalacy. Only one ugly reminder keeps showing it's face again and again and that reminder is Rudolph Giuliani.

It seems most of America doesn't realize how despised he was in NYC before the WTC was demolished. Oprah has him on her show calling him "America's Mayor", I've heard rumors he's thinking of running for President and he's been here in California campaigning for the Republican Bill Simon who's been running an idiotic and embarassing campaign for Governor. Even Dubya avoided this chore and that should tell you something right there.

Giuliani's term as Mayor of NYC was (up till 911) equally as skeevy and pitiful as Simon's bid for office has been. He instituted Draconian measures which impeded on citizen's personal rights and was an avid Conservative, even threatening to cut off city funds for a museum (who's artwork he thought was personally "offensive") despite his legal inability to do so. Like Dubya, he ran his office under the Iron Thumb of the Right, kow-towing to NYC's Catholic Hierarchy and treating their complaints as if they were handed down from God himself.

Ok, under extremely rare and difficult circumstances he acted quasi-human and since there was noone else standing up to bat (Dubya being AWOL, surprise surprise), he was pin-pointed as the Voice of Authority. It was a gallant swan song and he's not about to let us forget it.

His eagerness to wear the Crown of Goodness reeks of the cheapest sensationalism, right up there with selling pieces of the WTC to hungry collectors. Had 911 not happened, he would have surely dissappeared into the darkness like poor cameos should. Instead he now speaks like he's Moses, whipping out the memories of the disaster and waving it in our face to prove he's got the Stone Tablets and that makes him the Big Poo-Bah.

You rarely hear much about his marital mess which dogged him while he was Mayor. He had an affair with one of his "advisors" which became public and got ugly when his ex-wife was reluctant to leave the palace. It's exactly the kind of thing Republicans are quick to point out as a Moral Flaw unbefitting of a Public Servant, yet with Giuliani, it's been swept under the rug and conveniently forgotten.

I hope he does run. I hope he runs and his questionable record and family life are brought to light so we can all stop being scammed by this Charade. I hope he runs and when he loses, maybe he'll crawl back under a rock where he belongs.

2:34:05 PM    sro home /

West Wing is apparently slipping in ratings which must be freaking everyone in TV World out. As I've said before, I've never been a huge fan of the show but now, with the competition being The Bachelor and Birds of Prey, it's certainly the lesser of three evils. At least West Wing takes place on a planet we recognize.

This must put a crimp in the plans to run West Wing into perpetuity and become a Law And Order diety, including West Wing: Republican Intent and West Wing: Camp David. As far as I'm concerned, they could just make the show about Allison Janney and skip all the Big Messages Martin Sheen Yoda's out to his staff.

Birds of Prey is a second-rate Alias and lacks all the In-The-Know goo-gaws that usually keep fans of this genre happy. The characters all look like Super-Models working a Sci-Fi convention and none of it is very comprehensible. The Bachelor is beyond sci-fi and is more akin to watching a drunk fratboy shoot blow-up dolls in a barrel. The show should be shown at Abstinance lectures at Catholic High Schools and even then might just richochete and instigate a spate of teen suicides.

Frankly, I don't care one way or the other. If anything the absence of West Wing would make room at the Emmys for other shows overlooked and way more deserving. Last night, I watched Law and Order;Criminal Intent and was blown away by both the acting and the crisp movement of the story while allowing moments for the characters to inhabit space, not just zoom by like a walk-through of a Fire Drill. When the show ended, I was in awe of what I'd seen and depressed over the lack of recognition that this is what TV could be.

12:03:47 PM    sro home /