10:37:31 PM    sro home /

Part of my New Digital Wonderbox is I have digital radio and I'm currently listening to the "Smooth R&B" channel, grooving to the late 80's sounds of Miss Evelyn "Champagne" King. The screen displays various pieces of information about the artist and song and reminds me of the Fun Facts screens in theaters before movies. Evelyn's just said "Due to her mature voice, many doubted Evelyn King was ever a teenager." No kiddin'. I think I speak for the entire Scientific Community when I confidently say she definately was a teenager at some point.

Now Teddy Pendergrass pleads for me to "Close The Door". I think, "Sure, Teddy... Theodore... I'll close it."

I walk slowly to the goose down bed, our goosedown bed, and seductively pull back our Martha Stewart 320 count. As I sink into heaven, I turn to Ted and whisper, "Didn't Buffy rock tonight?"

"Aw baby, you know it did. That Anya thing was wicked baby."

"Yes", I reply as I stretch languidly and run my toe up along his thigh,"I couldn't believe it. I really thought the whole plotline was a great example of maturity for all the characters. I mean, here they were facing the unthinkable, that someone they all loved needed to be let go of, like we all realize when we get older and people around us start to leave our lives."

"Uh-huh", he replied, tracing his lips with the tip of his fat toungue. "I hear ya baby."

"And the ending," I continued, "when Anya and Xander walked away from each other. Each one realizing that things change and depsite what we wish would happen, what we plan to happen, that people change and sometimes you have to walk away."

Teddy takes my fingers in his and kisses the tips of each one. I smile and reach across him to turn out the light.

"All of those frat boys. Murdered."

"Come on baby. Let's get it on."

10:16:05 PM    sro home /

As part of my New Digital Bonanza I watched the show Nigella Bites. I know she's a Big Deal because they've made fun of her on SNL (which means she peaked) but this is the first time I've watched her. It's a cooking show... I think. She cooks things but the camera zooms around like we're watching Cops and makes following what she's doing nearly impossible.

She's pretty in a Party Girl kind of way with a snappy Brit accent and she says things like "designer leaves" for Bagged Lettuce. All the recipes are made to look easy and sound glamourous, just the kind of thing you whip up when you're soused in your flat at three AM. It's all has a Cosmo Air about it, "Late Night Love Fests That Will Leave Him Panting". She looks like fun, the show made me a little dizzy and I have no idea what she did.

6:20:38 PM    sro home /

I had digital TV installed today. Yes, it's true, I've been living for months now without even Cable. Now I not only have Cable, I have Every Station in the Universe. It's completely overwhelming. My last excuse for not getting stoned and laying in bed 24/7, "There's nothing good on TV", has been eradicated forever and now there is Always Something On.

I actually don't feel so great today and hence have a perfect excuse to do nothing but lie in bed and watch VH1's Divas Live From Las Vegas which obviously isn't Live. It looks pretty Ancient actually but is probably the Gayest Thing I've seen in months. Ellen, Cher, Cyndi, I'm in Homover Load.

My ex is friends with Cher's tour manager and I turned down the chance to see her live in Anaheim last month. Cyndi Lauper opens for Cher and was supposedly awesome. On this VH1 show, Cher is wearing what looks like a mint-green Strap-On minus the dildo part. Over her leather jeans, natch. Sometimes I think Bob Mackie just makes these things to see if anyone stops him. Cher and Cyndi duet (to a Cher hit) and Cher looks like she's trying to get away from Cyndi before their Hair melds into one Bleached Mass.

Now the Dixie Chicks are singing. I love them but they're dressed like they're PTA wives from the South. Which, I realize, they probably are. Plus all the singing and playing Every Instrument On The Planet stuff.

I'd see them in concert in a heartbeat. They had a concert on TV a couple of years ago and it rocked. They were all fiddling and wind-blowing and singing like Glamazons from the Planet Bluegrass and I was ready to be assimilated.

My new Digital SuperTV has a feature called Reminder which allows me to peruse shows and "mark" them so later it will tell me when they're on. I may be scared of this TV set up, at risk for developing bedsores and need someone come over and turn me like I'm a Coma Person.

Oh, and food. I finally found half-way decent Chinese Delivery here in LA so I may just screw cooking too. That narrows the Excuses For Moving down to Peggy (my dog), Lattes from the corner and buying Dunhills (where I get the Lattes).

The scariest part is it sounds like the Perfect Life.

4:10:10 PM    sro home /

3:17:41 PM    sro home /

The new ads for the Gucci men's perfume are causing a stir because they feature - gasp! - full frontal male nudity. Who exactly has a problem with this is fairly obvious: Straight Men. It's the ol' double standard that applies to most things sexual. Naked chicks, no problem. Girls kissing and rolling around in the buff, woo woo. Men shown as sexual objects, hey wait a minute!.

The whole cosmetics/fragrance dynasty is all a big Male Hetro notion if you ask me. Women wear the stuff because everyone's been ingrained its how to get a man. Queers, other than being hired as the creative force behind it all, could care less if women wear make-up. I appreciate a sexy woman as much (if not more) than the next Guy in A Diner but I don't consider make-up or some flowery smell the deal breaker. Perfume is an arcane notion, created originally to hide the stench which resulted from not bathing. Now that Indoor Plumbing is not just for the Royal, perfume isn't a neccessity to keep you from gagging when talking to the neighbors.

Cologne for men has been stereotyped as an effite affectation when it's actually something I usually only associate with Gigilos and Playas not queers. I don't mind it too much on women but on men it just smells like they're hiding something. Now they're hiding two things, the second one being the smell they're wearing is associated with a penis.

11:32:09 AM    sro home /