At your leisure, feel free to peruse the new feature here at Standing Room Only (on the right), the "Standing Room Only Diss-Master". The "polls" will be changing regularly and I'll routinely forward all information to the Public Relations Department who will most likely Giggle and Toss. I myself have already voted in the current poll twice (Liza, natch) and look forward to your so-called "input".

5:34:30 PM    sro home /

2:54:54 PM    sro home /

Chris. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. Mr. Melloni. Mrs. Chris Melloni. Hugh Melloni. H.E.M.

"Why hello, Mariska. What a clever name you have and I'm so glad to meet you. Chris has spoken so highly of you. Come, let us have a cup of coffee then you must join us in our glamorous Manhattan Loft for a delicious yet amazingly low-fat dinner."

Every morning I awake to Chris nuzzling my ear. He rises, naked natch, and prepares for the day by re-enacting several choice scenes from Oz while I smile and applaud heartily. He dons his low-key tailored suit in preperation for another day of intense acting on the set of L&O:SVU leaving me at home to finalize our Vacation Plans.

When he returns, stressed after a hard yet fulfilling day of being the Best Actor I Know, I hand him his Gin and Tonic while massaging his, uh, neck. That's what being married to Chris is like but we don't let the pressures of a Top-Notch Acting Career come between us and our Love.

When Chris asked me if his appearing nude on television would bother me, I thought long and hard. Very hard. Would exposing this musclular vision to the unsuspecting public disturb me? Would, despite the lavish attention he lathers on me every waking moment, I be jealous of the world's amorous ideas?

But I told him to do it. Cause that's the kind of guy I am. Who was I to rob the Human Race of any glimpse it could get? One longing yet unattainable look at my Chris.

Yumbo. Yumbo-licious. Yumbo-licky-drool-toy. Melloni's balony. Christopher Bobbin'. My Chris.

2:36:31 PM    sro home /