3:45:04 PM    sro home /

Today is, amazingly enough, the one month anniversary of the birth of Standing Room Only. I have in a relatively short time (and for what it's worth: nothing) managed to be "ranked" number 42 on the Salon Blog Index, trailing behind the, uh, fascinating musings of Toby's Political Diary: Let It Begin Here (I let it begin and end there) but leaving in my wake the must-reads (cough, cough) of Robert's Virtual Soapbox (Ivory, natch).

Frivolity aside, I want to thank the generous people who have taken the time to encourage me and read my writings. Special thanks to Lilly of Azuremariposa and the Reverse Cowgirl. All of the people I admire and personally RoleModel my blog after are linked on the right.

If this hadn't been so much fun, I would have been long gone. As it is, my blog has become a valuable writing exercise and a great distraction to my otherwise banal days.

Thanks! Big kisses! Je ne regrette rien! - Hugh

12:37:17 PM    sro home /

Gentle readers:

Although I don't normally respond to Non-Blogging issues here in my little forum, I received this letter today via e-mail and found it so utterly bizarre as to address it here. You might want to sit down for this one.

My Dear,

You may be surprised to receive this letter from me since you do not know me personally. I am Edward Bongo the son of John Mulaga Bongo one of the black farmer in Zimbabwe who was recently murdered in the land dispute in my country. I got your contact through network online hence I decided to solicit for your help.

Before the death of my father, he had deposited in Europe the sum of USD$21.5 million (Twenty-One million, Five Hundred thousand United States dollars), in one of the finance and security company, as he foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe coupled with the advise from the Finance Minister who hinted him about the embargo that will be placed on funds tranfer above US$1M once the land reform starts to check mostly white farmers.This amount was meant for the purchase of new machines and chemicals for the establishment of new farms in Swaziland a neighbouring country.

This land problem came when our President Mr. Robert Mugabe introduced a new Land Act Reform wholly affecting the rich white farmers and some few black farmers, and this resulted to the killing and mob action by Zimbabwean war veterans and some lunatics in the society. In fact a lot of people were killed because of this Land reform Act for which my father was one of the victims(RIP).And the stupid process is still going on till today and people are loosing their farms and lifes everyday.

It is against this background that, I and my family( mother and two sisters( fled Zimbabwe for fear of our lives and are currently staying in South Africa where we are seeking political asylum and more so have decided to invest my father's money with a reliable foreign partner than bringing it back here since the law of South Africa prohibits a refugee (asylum seeker) to open any bank account or to be involved in any financial transaction throughout the territorial zone of South Africa.

Also on getting here, we found out that South Africa have almost the same political history and this troubled us hence we quickly took the decision to seek your assistance . As I am writing this mail to you, the fund is in Europe details I will make known to you soon and I am seeking for a genuine foreign partner who I have to entrust my future and that of my family in his hands, I must let you know that this transaction is risk free and will never endanger you in any way. If you accept to assist me and my family, all I want you to do for me, is to make an arrangement with the finance and security company to transfer the funds to any account of your choice were the incident of taxation will not take much tool on it.

I have two options for you. Firstly you can choose to have certain percentage of the money for nominating your account for this transaction. Or you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment of the money in your country. Whichever theoption you want, feel free to notify me. I have also mapped out 5% of this money for all kinds of expenses incurred in the process of this transaction. If you do not prefer a partnership I am willing to give you 20% of the money while the remaining 75% will be for my family investment in your country. Contact me with this email address only (bongofamily2002@ XXX.com) stating your private phone and fax numbers (important) for easy and confidential communications, while I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required in thistransaction.It is confidential.

Do not use the reply button, reply only to bongofamily2002@ XXX.com

Thanks, Yours Faithfully, Edward Bongo

Dear Eddie,

You lost me at "My Dear".

Surprise does not begin to describe my response to your letter. Incredulous. Dumb-founded at the amount of errors in spelling and grammer maybe. Long and numbing as your plea is, it's intriguing in a "White Mischief" (the book) sort of way.

However there are a few things I should correct. Your assumption that I am "reliable" is, while flattering, extremely questionable at best. My priorities are limited and my financial accumen does not even remotely approach reliable. If you are looking for an Extremely Unconcerned With Highly Expensive Tastes Partner, then I may be in the the ballpark. Otherwise, you would be better taking your intriguing little offer to, say, anyone else.

Twenty-one (and a half) mill is a lot for farm equipment. Have you thought of taking the money and investing in Limosine Franchises? Every time I find myself in one, it seems one of your countrymen is driving and I'm sure you could learn to maneuver one of those really long ones in no time. I'm confident the "Bongo Family" would have a long and satisfying career in shuttling Starlets to and fro.

Thanks for thinking of me however. If at any time you need some advice regarding the bongofamily2002 bloggy, feel free to drop me a line.

The Beret Wearing Beatnik to Your Bongo Ways,

B.

11:53:39 AM    sro home /