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In my Dreams last night I went camping with Oprah. No kiddin', Oprah Winfrey. It wasn't just the two of us, there were other people there - line producers and whatnot and also this really beautiful red-haired woman who I discovered was in the movie Crazy/Beautiful. I've never seen Crazy/Beautiful and don't know if there is a red-haired girl in the movie but it said she was on her Resume which Oprah showed me.

We were in Northern California and we were all driving along the road that weaves between the Redwoods when suddenly we came to an area of the road Overgrown by the trees. They had literally managed to seep over the road like a Redwood Lava flow and we had to stop.

I must admit I was rather emotional in the dream, eyes tearing up because I was so overcome by the beauty of these ancient beings that were living up here in the woods. Ok, they actually were the woods but they were old, old, old and for some reason they made me cry. Quite embarassing actually but that Oprah, she just looked at me and let me cry and blubber in that way Oprah does with her guests.

I thought we were all going to some luxurious Woodsy Resort (after all, this was Oprah) but turns out we were camping right there, on the Redwoods. I figured this out by the tents and the tables which were all set with Redwood Plates where you could count the Rings while you ate.

There were also two children involved and I'm not quite sure who they belonged to but to be honest, they weren't very disciplined. The boy cried quite a bit, not Reverential Sobbing as I was doing but All Out Wailing like a Banshee which was a little distracting up in the Sacred Woods.

I went to quiet him, taking him to the Tree Base that has the years engraved on the Rings to show you how old the tree is. "Look, this tree is, uh, well, ok, let's look at this number! See, this tree is three hundred and, well, something years old. I'm pretty sure that's a three but Old, Old, Old! Isn't that amazing?"

Kids are not as impressed with these things as Adults are want to be, Age still being some General Idea akin to God and Money and Responsibility but he did stop crying long enough to ask me if I was drunk. I did seem to be having a hard time enunciating but I didn't remember drinking. Ok I had one cocktail at lunch but c'mon, Oprah, fab movie stars, line producers. A bit nervous, you know.

There were clifts too, big Redwood clifts looking down onto a river where we watched other Nature Lovers cavorting on the shore. Preparing, it seemed, for their own Camping Adventure. Naturally not quite as Glamorous as ours, after all (ahem) Oprah, but what's that? They have beer? Huge amounts of it in big crates like they plan on being here and drinking beer for quite awhile, maybe long enough to watch a few Rings grow from what I could tell. Seeing as how I have a dreadful fear of heights, my curiousity only lasted so long. I actually have a fear of feeling compelled to throw myself off heights which is technically a different Phobia altogether. Still, sitting so close to the Redwood Edge was a little nerve-wracking, especially for someone who may or may not be drunk. I chose to take myself back to the Redwood plates before awaking to Peggy barking at some noise outside the Front Door.

I would love to be a Redwood Tree somewhere.

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