Still trying to get myself in Concert Mode, so decided to take a little stroll down Concert Memory Lane in hopes the Fond Recollections will jar my apathy.

Madonna - Went with my friend Pam who is/was a New York Glamazon/Model. Lots and lots of Cocaine and incredibly Trendy Outfits which I won't even begin to describe but let's just say we were dressed very similar. Pam was the only woman I know who could go to a Gay Disco with me and pick up one of the Hottest Straight Men. Her outfit got lots of looks. My outfit did too but not the same looks. We ended up at an All Night Bistro in the Meat District called Florent where the waiters all knew us and we went in the bathroom and finished off the Coke. Tonight would be a good time to snort a few lines if I even knew where to buy Coke and if I did it anymore and I was twenty years younger.

Micheal Jackson - Incredible fun, again aided by huge amounts of recreational drugs. Four Queens (including me) and one was my friend Ray who was a Major Humpa-Pumpa and conveniently had a Best Friend who was a Dealer. We were surrounded by an extremely varied audience who were thankfully unaware of us bending over in our seats to snort K. The intermission was as much fun as the concert since I couldn't get up and walk but was a good excuse to wear sunglasses in Madison Square Garden.

Prince - In Oakland Coliseum of all places. Circular stage in the middle and Prince got out of a Corvette with huge amounts of smoke and light streaming out of the car door behind him.

Aretha Franklin - Radio City Music Hall. The audience was nearly as good as the performance with Major "Sunday Go To Meeting" showing off during the intermission including Huge Hats. Again, she arrived on stage in a car - Pink Cadillac, natch.

Blondie - University of Florida Gym, 1979. Three hundred "New Wavers". Need I say more.

Though there are others, these are the Greatest Hits. My Drug of Choice tonight will most likely be a cocktail at Staple Center since I no longer do anything else and I'm currently out of Pot (which, for the record, I have a prescription for because of having AIDS but thanks to Adolf Ashcroft have a difficult time getting). Chances are we'll also go Backstage and I think meeting Cher sober, let alone full of mind-altering drugs, will be more than enough to handle.

3:50:36 PM    sro home /

Waffling, already, about going to Cher.

But it's free!

Yes, well, TV is free too. Ok, maybe not free but broken down on a daily basis it's pretty cheap. Plus I can turn it off when I want.

"They say we're young and we don't know..."

Uh, Not Young. They don't say " We're over 40 and we Should know and if we don't we're useless..."

"Do you believe in Love after Love..."

What does that even mean? Love after Love? Do you believe in dinner after dinner? Do you believe the weather we're having?

"Gypsies, tramps and thieves..."

Don't forget the Ex's idiotic friend who's coming and will most likely yap on and on about all the boys he's fucking and the gym and how he can't decide whether to get the New Mercedes or the New BMW even though we all know for a fact he can't afford either.

"Grandpa did whatever he could..."

Did he now? Did he ever work in a Video Store? Did he ever work at a Jewelry Trade Show? Did he ever work as Personal Assistant for a Famous Park Avenue Cunt who made him plan a Charity Dinner for her Library gig which was the Ultimate Irony since she never opened a book in her life? I think not.

Uh, did I mention it's free?

Yes, you seem to have that little idea stuck in the tape machine. Free things aren't exactly Be-All-End-Alls, you know. Tiny little packets of smelly shampoo are free. M&Ms in the dish at the doctor's are free. Prada bags and Helmut Lang outfits - not usually Free.

Then just stay home, you bitter old hag.

And miss seeing Cher? Are you nuts? I'll be close enough to count Scars plus I might see Georgia, the wife of Cyndi Lauper's drummer I met last month who's a Major Glamazon and tons of fun. Girls just wanna have fun, remember.

Mask.

Got one. Big smile on it too - look of excitement, the whole works. Fits fine, worn before and waterproof to boot. Now leave, I've got an Outfit to choose.

2:59:17 PM    sro home /

So I'm seeing Cher in concert tonight at the Staples Center here in LA. Yes, the Concert Arena here in LA is named after an Office Supply Store. Money talks. Before you start rolling your Inner Eyes and making all sorts of Stereotypical Assumptions about Queers going to see Cher, I'll quickly add the tickets are free. My Ex's friend is her Tour Manager and we also went and saw Janet Jackson last year under the same circumstances. Neither are singers I would go to normally but hey, free is free and we get amazing seats. At Miss Jackson we were Eigth Row Center and I sat next to Halle Berry and her husband (this was before she'd won the Oscar and was Halle Berry) and on the other side were these two queens who sang Every Single Word at the top of their lungs which was unbelieveably annoying.

I'd turned down the opportunity to see Cher when she was performing in Anaheim, I wasn't that thrilled about the drive and plus, you know, Cher. God bless her, she's a zillion years old and I think she looks kind of scary. After Anaheim however, I figure when will I ever get the chance to see her again and the drive is shorter so what the hell.

Suddenly today has become about What To Wear. I wore these Orange Leather Todd Oldham pants to see Janet (don't ask and yes, orange - Bright orange as a matter of fact) which actually are pretty Fab but that was the one and only time I'll probably ever wear them. Tonight feels more like an All Black kinda night so that narrows it down, down to about six thousand things.

We're also goin with a Friend of the Ex who has the personality of a Junior High Cheerleader which means lots of Acting on my part. Acting pleasant, acting interested, acting like I'm listening. He, bless his heart, deserves to see Cher and I'm not such a Jaded Queen that I'll deny him his Gym-given Rights.

The Opening Act is Cyndi Lauper which, ironically enough, I am slightly interested in seeing. At least she's an actual singer and her songs have, in the most distant way, more resonance to me than Cher's. "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" indeed.

You'll get the whole scoop later and in the meantime, I have to muster up some Queen Spirit. In the words of an Unknown Trojan, "Go on, it's a fucking horse! How often does someone give you a fucking big horse?" We shall see.

11:52:48 AM    sro home /

11:07:01 AM    sro home /