I dug up this Polaroid today taken of me at a photoshoot in La Jolla. It was Easter and the photographer's kids were all excited about the Easter Bunny bringing candy and I was chosen to be the Proxy. I apologize in advance for the years of therapy I might have induced. I don't look that different now and the General Mood is pretty much still Right on the Money.

Hop hop hop.

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I got home last night and was a little drunk and wrote this long synopsis of the Cher Concert and then thought "Oh, my poor readers. Listening to me ramble is one thing, listening to me ramble drunk is quite another." So I dumped the whole thing and decided to Pour The Tea today hitting the high points:

1. We walked into the filming of The Anna Nicole Show. Yup, I'm assuming at some point in the future you will see Miss Smith at the Cher concert and might possibly see me in the background. If her husband hadn't been a zillion years old and dying, he would have most likely killed himself after listening to that voice night and day.

2. HUGE HUGE HUGE Lesbian Crowd. I mean, the Queers I expected but tons of lesbians! Who knew? The whole crowd was like being in a Gay Bar although the High Lezzie Element made it more like a gay bar in Provincetown than SF. These were not Lipstick Portia De Rossi Dykes either, these were Mullet-Wearing, I'd Sooner Kick Your Ass As Look At You Lezzies. I was very very afraid so you can imagine the look of terror on the few breeder couples scattered about. This was like some horrible nightmare gone wrong for them.

3. Always kiss up to the bartender. This is the Golden Rule of socializing and if you think this is beneath you, then you deserve to have a shitty time. My Chosen Bartender was Carol and she did me very good and I, as always, tipped her very well. Thanks baby, those Margaritas kicked my Big White Fag Butt.

4. Cyndi Lauper rocked. Totally. I'd always thought of her as a kind of "Novelty Act", Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, etc. but I have been converted to the Church of CL. Most Moving Moment - Her pulling out a Huge Rhinestone Covered Rainbow Flag which she wore while singing "True Colors" and saluting her Lesbian Sister who was in the audience. Very very cool.

5. Intermission between CL and Cher. They were playing Old School R&B: Kool and The Gang, KC and the Sunshine Band, "Car Wash" and the crowd went wild. We were all standing and laughing and dancing and waving our arms like we just didn't care and you know what? No one did.

6. Cher. Honestly, not my thing but lots of people obviously worship anything she does. She claims this is her last concert but it was really so little about her actually being there that any semi-decent Drag Queen could have filled in. Highlight: singing "Bang Bang" in this outfit that was like Lion King meets Cat Woman meets Indian Chief meets, well, Cher. She's probably about 5'5" and in this costume she was about 7 feet tall. Oh, and there was fire and wind and dancers and the music was ear bursting while she was doing all this. Wow.

It was immense fun. I could have left after Cyndi Lauper but now I can say I saw Cher ( or a reasonable fascimile) perform. I looked Fab, btw. Smart little black leather Kangol hat and unshaven face - very rough/D&G/thirties thing. Biggest Fashion Faux Pas: people who buy a Concert T-Shirt and then put it on at the Concert. Ew.

Thanks Cyndi, you made me think there's Hope yet. xxx

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