Hey Whitney.

Hey Baby.

Tonight's the big night huh?

Mmm-hmm.

Are you nervous?

Fuck no. What the fuck should I be nervous for? WHAT the FUCK should I be nervous about? I am Whitney Houston, muthafucka. I am the QUEEN DIVA.

Uh, yeah, I guess you are.

Muthafuckin' Miss Sawyer asking me questions about all sorts of shit. What drugs did I do... crack, cocaine, pot...

Yeah, I heard.

Meth, quaaludes, Robatussin...

Uh-huh.

Esstasy, pills, smack...

I got the idea.

WELL YES I DID! MUTHA FUCKIN RIGHT I DID. I work my Goddamn ass off and if I wanna get stoned and lay on the sofa all day eatin' Ritz crackers then I will, God Damn it.

Works for me.

"IIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiii, will always love yoooouuuuuuuuu..."

Big hit there.

National Fuckin' Anthem and don't you forget it.

At least the lyrics aren't hard to remember.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYIN'? CAN YOU SING THAT FUCKING SONG?

Well, uh...

CAN YOU?

No.

God damn right you can't. I AM THE QUEEN!

Ok, Whitney. Maybe you should get off the table.

WHY? YOU GOT A MUTHA FUCKIN STAGE? WELL DO YOU?

Not really.

Then shut the fuck up. "I'm every womannnn..."

Well thanks for stopping by.

You got a light baby?

Gotta go now.

C'mon baby, give me a light. Don't hold out baby.

C'ya.

3:47:34 PM    sro home /

2:22:03 PM    sro home /

Buffy was a repeat. UPN's programmers will burn in hell next to the Republicans so I hope Dubya likes Married With Children.

24 is like the laziest hooker in the world, it just keeps jerking you off until you're close and then takes a Ciggie Break. Nina's return has been pretty uneventful thus far. She's so de-glamorized as to border on Boys Don't Cry territory. You kinda get the feeling that Jack wants to fuck her. After all, the guy's been grieving while growing a beard for a year so he must be horned.

The SuperRich In Style wedding is apparently still a go. I'm sure all the fag cater/waiters are relieved and standing around thinking "Hurry up and do something, I have Yoga at six." Frankly, hard to gather alot of sympathy for Blond SuperModels who live in Fab Mansions but I know good florists are booked months in advance. The Dad's now a suspect and his name is "Bob Warner". Take that, WB! Coinincidence? I think not.

Jack's daughter Kim is quickly clicking up the Criminal Points and now that we know her BF has Buffy-like Karate Skills, the sky's the limit. Maybe a quick side trip for some looting on Rodeo Drive is in order. Especially since I'm fairly confident the new season of Chanel is Nuke-proof. This would be a great spot for a guest gig from Winona.

Apparently the First Black Prez is being sabatoged by some vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Sound familiar? He, however, chose to dump his Power Bitch Wife who insists, depsite her supposed divorce, to chat with the mucky-mucks in the Defense Department and gab about National Matters. Doesn't she have any hobbies? What about the kids, where did they go? She needs a Blog. If she starts one, here's a tip: avoid the sex stuff. It'll only get everyone calling you a Man-Kissing Whore and lots of jealous comments. Then again, it may get you a TV show so it's a close call. (Reverse FirstLady? Hmmm...)

12:02:30 PM    sro home /

10:23:16 AM    sro home /