JOE ALIVE - Adeen's been dead for 19 days but these twenty girls think he's still breathing. Whose twisted idea was this...

JOE STUD - Adeen has a measley three inches but these girls think he's a thick, meaty...

JOE MAN - Adeen's a Pre-Op hiding a hefty 36DD under his tux but these twenty girls think he's, well, a man...

JOE HUMAN - Adeen's a 250 pound orangutan who can point to a screen and ask for fruit but these girls think he can walk erect. Whose sick idea was this?

JOE DEMOCRAT - Adeen's been living in Florida and co-ordinating Prayer Meetings for the Boy Scouts but these girls think he's a member of the ACLU. Boy, oh, boy, are they in for a surprise. "Lott"s-a-luck...

JOE STRAIGHT - Adeen's got Tribal Tatoos and every Cher CD ever made, but these girls think he's hot to knock boots...

You wait...

7:58:19 PM    sro home /

Tomorrow morning Peggy and I are flying to Florida to be with my family for the holidays, which in my case means my Mother and Sister and my Nephew. I'm looking forward to the trip because I adore my Mom and I realized yesterday it's the first time we will be "alone" together for many years. The last two times I went Home for the Holidays Joe went because we were still partners. The time before that was my Stepfather's funeral and there were tons of people everywhere. My mother's family (my Grandmother, one Aunt and her husband) drove down from Virginia and an endless stream of neighbors and friends dropped off food in typical Southern fashion. My Mother got four Honey Baked Hams, not to mention the numerous "one dish" cassaroles and I'm sure Betty Crocker's stock must have risen several points during that period.

I gave Joe the option of going with me but he declined, concocting some story (in typical Joe Fashion) about how my family was dissappointed in him after our breakup and hated him and he didn't want to be a bother. Whatever. While it's true my family found him a little, shall we say, Dramatic, the truth is they would welcome anyone I chose to bring because they love me. I stopped at some point being concerned about his Story regarding going and just made plans of my own.

I don't talk alot about Joe and our relationship on SRO because frankly it's nice to have a place where I can get away from it. Short story: he had a very difficult childhood - foster homes, crazy mom, the whole Lifetime Movie - and has alot of issues to resolve. Issues that were the basis for our split and that still rear their ugly head in our interactions. It's one of those instances where after you break up with someone, you look back and think "What the fuck was I doing?". However we now live close to each other and we "share" the dogs, Dexter being officially his while I have kept Peggy who bonded with me and I'm her "daddy".

Peggy has been to Florida twice before and rides in a carry-on bag that fits under the plane seat. I usually take her out after take-off and she sleeps in my lap. She (as always) garners lots of attention and is extremely well-behaved. Because I am Legally Disabled and she is technically Registered as a Service Dog, I am allowed to take her anywhere. This isn't as convenient as it sounds since people are seldom informed of the Federal Laws in this area and give me shit if I have her out on her leash. The truth is I'm allowed by law to bring her anywhere and am neither obligated to show any ID proving my disabiliy or that she is registered as a Service Animal. The laws cover Animals for all disabilities, not just Seeing Eye Dogs which is what most people assume. Therefore, I usually also have to bring some proof of my being Disabled (which doesn't actually say I have AIDS) and also I bring a copy of the Federal Laws. They aren't even supposed to ask me why I'm disabled and doing so is a Violation of the Law and I could conceivably sue any company whose employees ask. I'm not looking to deal with lawsuits, I just want to travel as painlessly as possible, but it's an Ace Card I reluctantly pull out if I must.

My Mom loves Peggy - how could you not? - but spoils her endlessly. She also has two cats and Kitties (as Peggy recognizes them by) are the Holy Grail of her Canine Existence. She doesn't attack or fight with them, when she sees a Kitty she freezes in awe, but of course my Mom's cats don't know that. Second on the list for Peggy is the Kitty Food which she beelines for and I have to keep reminding my Mom to put it away when Peggy's running around.

So this will be the first time my Mom and I spend alone for any extended period of time and I'm going to Florida for three weeks, until around the seventh of January. She lives in North Florida, not Miami as nine out of ten people assume. When I tell people where I'm going the response is always "Oh, you'll have great weather!". Actually, doubtful on the weather. It's currently partially cloudy and 50 degrees there, not J-Lo on the Beach kind of climate.

I'm taking my iBook, natch, so I'll continue posting while I'm there. I'm looking forward to gathering lots of material for Standing Room Only. Alot less Celebrity Sightings, I'm assuming, but the locals have their own quirks which should make for some good stories. I plan to mostly vegatate, cooking and eating with my Mom and watching Movies, maybe making Margaritas and playing cards with her which should be lots of fun. My nephew is six and will be on leave from school for part of the time and since my Sister and her BF work full time and my Mom works part-time (in a gift shop), I've volunteered to keep him for the few days needed. I'll be the first to admit I don't have the big Paternal Gene going but at least he's supposedly entertained by an X-Box and I can look forward to being humbled by his skill. Who knows, maybe I'll come back all Video Game Enhanced and have gotten to the Tenth Level of something or however it is they play those things.

That's all, just a personal note. I have lots to do today to prepare and I'm not sure when or if I'll have time to devote here but my thoughts are with you and I know yours are with me and that makes me just a Big Ol' Happy Camper.

xxx-hugh

1:30:23 PM    sro home /

9:48:46 AM    sro home /