If (like myself) you aren't really a "sports person", being exposed to a Sports Obsessed Culture (like here in Jacksonville) is kind of a shock. Today I went to the grocery store and on one of the local radio stations was the "Weekly Jaguar Injury Report". No kiddin'. I'm assuming these are Job-Related Injuries only, no mention of stubbed toes or rug burns, but every mention was followed with a lengthy commentary about what effects the said injury will have on the season, the team and the world at large. It was enough to make me wonder if my time has been ill-spent elsewhere and Sports Injury is really where all the Action is.

Taking my new found Sports Knowledge and running with it (so to speak), I quickly developed a system of conversation for those of us "Sports Challenged". It's quite simple and rather ingenious if I say so myself. Here's how it works : in response to any Sports Related Question, answer one or all of the following:

1. "(He/She/That) was really something."

2. "I know what you mean."

3. "Could you believe it?"

Really. Try it. Any question.

"Can you believe what a great (whatever he was) Joe Namath was?"

"He was really something."

"Did you see that game last week between (insert Team) and (insert Team)?"

"Could you believe it?"

Bonus tip: after saying one of the approved phrases, look the person directly in the eye and smile really big like you might just snap at any second. You'd be surprised at how quickly the person will look away and change the subject.

"I know what you mean."

Ah, just one of the folks.
6:54:13 PM    sro home /

Hello Young Man.

Congrats on the Big Powerball Win.

Why thank you. It was God's will.

Oh yeah? Can I ask you something?

Why sure.

Can I have a million dollars?

Heh heh. Well, I don't know about that.

It's God's will. Really, I just talked to him. We didn't talk about you winning but he was pretty cool and I'm sure if you asked he wouldn't mind.

Well...

Can I have $500,000?

I'm giving alot of my money to God.

Yeah, I heard. Not that it's any of my business but do you think God really needs money?

The church can use it.

Can I have $250, 000?

I have children too.

$150, 000? Daddy?

I think that's awfully sweet but...

Your name is Andrew Jackson Whittaker?

Yes.

Like the President?

Yes.

The Southern President?

Yes.

Can I have $75,000?

Yes. I mean, no. I mean, I'd like to but...

I'm Southern.

You are?

Uh huh. $50, 000?

I'm from the heart of West Virginia.

No kiddin'? Ten thousand.

Uh...

Five thousand.

What would you do with the money?

Buy things. God-ish things.

Like what?

A thousand?

I better get going here.

One hundred. Can I have a hundred dollars?

You send me a letter and I'll think about it.

A letter? Like on paper?

Yup.

Ten bucks.

You take care now.

Mr. Whittaker?

Yup?

You're going to hell. Kidding. C'ya.
2:26:26 PM    sro home /

Since my last post about the recent influx of new blogs here at Salon Blogs, there have been even more popping up. Again, I don't know if it's the feelings of introspection the holidays evoke or just the extra time people have on their hands but obviously Someone has a story to tell. I've noticed many new names on the Recent Updates list but I'm limiting myself only to those which show up on Rankings by Page Read.

For Whom The Blog Tolls - This has been a High Roller on the Rankings list thus far and when I went to check it out, I discovered it's apparently because it only shows one day at a time. Secular Blasphamy questioned Real Live Preacher about this posting method yet hasn't brought this matter up with his self-proclaimed "mate". The author is also associated with Jehovah's Witnesses as are several other Blogs on Salon. Why are JWs attracted to Salon? Is there something I'm missing? FWTBT hails from Canada and from what I've read concerns alot of snow and drinking. Note to Potential Bloggers - Using Blog in your title is not clever, no matter how you use it.

Aeryadne's Labyrinth: Blogging In the Dark - Try and pronounce that word, I dare you. Aeryadablahdadieysnesblah??? Vaguely Tolkienish which is certainly timely. This intends to be a Blog about books and the author claims "You will spend way too much time at this site exploring all the links to the year's best books list". Personally, not likely but if you aren't a "reader" and yet want to sound like one, this may be the place to go.

Tachyon TV Weblog - This blog purports to be mostly about science fiction, so I'm guessing "Tachyon" is some sci-fi word that probably impressses chicks at conventions. There's a fair amount of bemoaning the demise of Farscape (which I actually enjoy but not enough to write my congressman about) and currently has some Top Ten Listings. I have no idea who the author is or what credentials he holds, so to me it's the equivilant of walking up to anyone on the street and asking their favorite movies. Beautiful Mind is one of the Top Five and for that alone, I'll personally keep walking.

That's the only three I've seen today but I plan to add as others appear. I'm still waiting for the one I can say "Read this" and eventually some of those I've remarked on thus far may hit their stride. Here's hoping.
12:48:33 PM    sro home /