I got more Christmas presents today and no matter how you cut it, extending the Christmas Present Period out as far as you can is always a win/win situation. My mother and I went to the Mall (finally) and even though I'd envisioned witty reports about Mall Wear and Fashion here in the state that gave us GWB, it was more akin to Fear Factor. I was trapped, like a Blond Californian Actress Wannabe, under immeasurable amounts of water and eventually all I wanted was to get out and breath again.

We went to the Abercrombie and Fitch here and the trip completely transformed my A&F vision from one of Stylish Homo Jock to one of So Last Year Breeder Wannabe. I mean, you walk in the store and there's an eight foot tall picture of some barely post adolescent guy practically naked. Hello. Then you shift your attention from the picture to the Tough-Acting Rich Teens grabbing everything like it was manna from Heaven, apparently unaware that they might as well be dressing for Butt Raiders III or any number of Porn Flicks made in the Valley. Additionally all the clothes are now classified as "Muscle" which anyone worth their Closet Keys knows equals "Gay". Even I, and this is saying alot, got Gayed Out. The irony had been lost and since the irony was all there was, I was just left with alot of expensive athletic gear which started to look way too young for a forty-one year old queer. Insert shudders here.

Needless to say, I bypassed all the Cute Trendy Stuff and ended up purchasing the Blandest Basics - a pair of jogging pants, a hooded sweat and some fatigues - which I could use and which I knew would make my Mom feel maternal and nurturing. Cute.

The "salespeople" were nowhere to be seen, a pet peeve of mine having worked in retail for years in NYC. I am every salesperson's worst nightmare since I actually have standards for the job. Needless to say, I was a fucking amazing salesperson for the same reason and could pretty much sell snow to eskimos. Today, however, they all seemed to have better things to do and since I was actually buying and not just languishing, I was pissed at the lack of attention.

After forraging through all the pants and finding the size I needed, I moved to the sales register where the three teenage girls were chatting behind the counter. Finally one of them turned to me and asked, "Do you need help?"

No, I was just standing here to see if some of your Base would rub off.

She started to ring up the pants and after she had the total I asked her, "Aren't these pants on sale?"

"Uh, no."

"Are you sure? The girl said they were."

"What girl?"

"Uh, the girl. They pants were on a table."

"Hold on."

Hey, it was worth a shot. Everything was on a table and I hadn't seen any salesperson - girl or guy - since I'd walked in. I figured the worst that would happen was she'd come back and say I was nuts.

She finally returned.

"Well I couldn't find out but yeah, I guess they are."

Just. Like. That. Bam - she took ten dollars off the total.

Cool huh? I am styling in the New A&F Groove tonight. In my mom's house, but still, stylin'. Work, work. You go Hugh, you go. Work.
9:47:13 PM    sro home /

Can you hear them
They talk about us
Telling lies
Well that's no surprise

Can you see them
See right through them
They have no shield
No secrets to reveal

It doesn't matter what they say
In the jealous games people play
Our lips are sealed

There's a weapon
We must use
In our defense
Silence

When you look at them
Look right through them
That's when they'll disappear
That's when we'll be feared

It doesn't matter what they say
In the jealous games people play
Our lips are sealed
Pay no mind to what they say
It doesn't matter anyway
Our lips are sealed

Hush, my darling
Don't you cry
Quiet, angel
Forget their lies

Can you hear them
They talk about us
Telling lies
Well that's no surprise

Can you see them
See right through them
They have no shield
Nothing to be revealed

It doesn't matter what they say
In the jealous games people play
Our lips are sealed
Pay no mind to what they say
It doesn't matter anyway

Our lips are sealed
Our lips are sealed
Our lips are sealed

- The Go-Gos

1:07:15 PM    sro home /