Friday, January 3, 2003|
THE POST MAN SINGS TWICE Pssst... hey. Over here. It's me, a Post on Standing Room Only. If you're visiting from one of the Blogs trashing Hugh (and tons of you guys have come here! man, sent our fucking hits through the roof!) well "Satan's" not here right now. Sorry. Bummer, I know. I think he went to pee but I couldn't tell you for sure. You were probably all ready for Stupid Opinions or Sucky Writing or whatever but sorry, nuttin' here but us Posts. Feel free to wander around though. There's a Church Service a few posts down (not very Evil, I know but...) and some songs. Lemme think... oh yeah, there's some Art somewhere. Not alot of Insecurity or whatever those people told you, but you know Bloggers - blah blah blah. Lotta bullshit if you ask me. We had some trouble here at SRO with those Comments for awhile. Kids, I'm telling you. Man, when I started at a New Blog things were different. You'd hear some stuff about you and you'd just, you know, try harder. These New Kids are out of control! I swear, they'd no more work for their Rankings than they'd post some cool pics. If you ask me, that's the problem with Blogging these days. No more work ethic! These Young bloggers march in and it's "Rank Me!" and "Give me hits!" Sheesh. Yeah, we got in and cleaned 'em all out. Sent 'em a fish in the Comment box, if you get my drift.
Listen, I'd tell you a joke but I'm pretty sure that'd be a New Post and we're all Union here so I can't really. Rules are rules. But, hey, you look around, get comfortable and come back later. There's some jokes here all the time, no kiddin'! Tell 'em Posty sent you and you'll get taken care of trust me. Best fuckin' seats in the Blog. No problem, especially for a sweet looker like you. C'ya later, Ciao. |
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MUG SHOT FROM THE SMOKING GUN
This is very wrong. I am a Certified K-Mart Guest Relations Specialist and I should not be under suspicion for a crime which I have not committed. Yes, I hit her but it was not under the auspices of which you are thinking. My name is not even Bambi, that was her doing and that fact alone should clear me from any convictions of wrongdoing. My correct name is Barbi, not Bambi. Bambi is not even a name of my gender and I am fully aware of the ramifications. When she asked my name, I thought it best to give her a fake name as I thought having the name Barbi displayed on my Name Plate would mislead the Guests and detract from proper merchandising. Merchandising is number five in the GLEAM Guest Relations Code, right after Educate and Assist. It is part of Level Two in the Beginning Management Program and while I have not been accepted in the Program as of this date, I fully planned to participate in the coming year after my divorce is finalized. My parole officer thinks it would be smart to have some connections to the community at large and who is better connected than a Mid to High Level manager of the Local K-Mart Discount Store. When she asked me what name I would like displayed on my tag, I had a mere few seconds to respond and since I had chosen, as is my God-Given right, to use a fictitious name I responded with Cinderella. I know that name is a proper one for my gender and yet she completely ignored my legal wishes and proceeded to enter the name Bambi. Perhaps it was a language problem. Those people have trouble speaking American, I know I’ve seen it on TV, and while I personally have no feelings about hiring Foreigners I believe if you live and work here you should be courteous and speak the language. If I were to walk into the Taco Bell and ask for a Chicken Wrap, they would not understand what I was talking about. Therefore if you intend to work in the workplace, you should be prepared to speak in the language of your peers. It was when she handed me my completed Name Plate, with my unauthorized name upon it, that I saw her give me a Look. I’ve seen this Look before, there was a woman at the Seven-Eleven who’d give me that Look when I’d go in to buy Parliaments. I’d hand her three ones and she’d give me the cigarettes and while I was lighting one and waiting for my change, she’d give me that Look. I have a High School Equivalency Certificate and read a number of weekly magazines and I know that Look and what it suggests and I think that when I am in a position to have already been hired at the K-Mart, I do not deserve that Look. That is when I slapped her and while I just meant to tap the back of her hand, somehow her hair became entangled in my engagement ring and her head hit the wall. That is all I will say until I have proper legal representation or until my Mother arrives. Until then, I believe I am still entitled to my Guest Representative Discount and I’d like a Diet Dr. Pepper please. Special thanks to Miss Feva for her generosity in inspiring this idea. 11:43:45 AM  sro home /
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Last update: 6/3/08; 11:25:29 PM .
