Tuesday, January 14, 2003|
GEE, I... JOE???
The Smoking Gun reveals how our Aw Shucks Construction Worker is definately heavy on the shucking part. Seems he did a stint as an, ahem, "Physique Model" where he was a little less willing to stay undercover. The photos are for an underwear/lingerie company which is like a Frederick's of Hollywood for queers in Detroit who order this stuff off the internet. Whatever! I bet he's been giving lots of girls (and boys) "Pearl Necklaces" (wink wink). Yow-za. |
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DIAL-A-PRAYER Hello. Hey God, it’s me. Oh, hey. What’s up? Are you busy? Kinda, just saving the masses here. I can call back if you want. No, go ahead. I can be everywhere at once, you know. Like Jennifer Lopez. Cute. So what do you need? Well... I’ve been thinking. Yeah. And? I’ve been feeling guilty. Jesus Christ! I’m only human you know! No, I’m talking to Jesus here. Can you hold? Uh, I guess. (“Looks like we made it...”) I’m back. Do you know your hold music plays Barry Manilow? Duh. It’s part of our deal. Your deal? Yeah, with Barry. I make him eternally popular and he lets me play his stuff on my service. You never offered me a deal. Well you aren’t a world-reknowned singer now are you? I mention you alot on Standing Room Only. Yeah, I know. Not exactly Billy Graham material there. I’m queer. What do you expect? Whatever. So back to the “guilt thing”. Oh, right. Well I feel bad about not reading more blogs. I mean, lots of people read SRO and leave me these great comments and I just can’t seem to get around to doing the same. That’s it? Well. Kinda. I feel bad. Uh, ok. Gee, glad I stopped feeding all those starving people for this. I said I could call back. Jesus Christ, I told you to stop teasing the cherubs! Hold please. (“At the Copa, Copacobana...”) I’m back. What about Madonna? What about her? Couldn’t you make a deal with her and play her music instead? No can do. She already has a deal. No kiddin? Yeah, the other team. Ahhhh... gotcha. So this guilt thing. Listen, just get over it. That’s it? Well I could send some pestilance down to distract you but you already have AIDS. I mean, you’d think that would keep you busy. (sigh) It does. Ok then. People understand, believe me. They’re probably freaking out about what to write themselves. You think? Hello! God here! Yeah, you’re probably right. Hugh, I am right. All of it. Everything that’s right, there’s me. I know, I know. Almighty, eternal, blah blah blah. Listen, I have some plane crashes to fix. Anything else? No. And? Oh. I love you. Of course you do. And I love you too. Ok. Bye God. See you in church. Church? Gotcha! Later. 4:26:29 PM  sro home /
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2008
HUGH ELLIOTT
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Last update: 6/3/08; 11:25:54 PM .
Last update: 6/3/08; 11:25:54 PM .
