Three are three main sects in Iraq - Kurds, Sunni and Chia.

1. Kurds - Either low-fat or with pineapple chunks.

2 Sunni - Appear to be interested in self-deprecating banter but actually aim for politics. Most die by running into trees.

3. Chia - Fortunately for us, only wear Bob Mackie. Unfortunately, have several comebacks and live to be 1000.
11:42:38 PM    sro home /

Last week I was in the Apple Store here in LA at an outdoor shopping mall called The Grove. Mall is a relative term as the entire concept is you're on some fantastical small town street somewhere that happens to house every high priced retail store in existence. The cinema has a marquee straight out of The Majestic, there's a large central fountain and per LA, movie stars crawling all over. On this trip, the MS of choice was Luke Wilson sitting at an outdoor restaurant eating as if he was stoned or he had been living in a cave for several months. But I digress...

While I was waiting for assistance in the Apple Store (I was there for a repair/replacement), I perused the available merch, natch. I'm the kind of person who if I have some available cash and sitting in a store with some free time feel compelled to buy something.

This particular time I bought a computor game called Black and White. The premise of B&W is you are God. Yup, the Big Cheese, Yaweh, Almightys of Almightys. Throughout the game, you're given choices which will either position you as a "Good God" full of love and mercy or a "Bad God" of vengance and destruction.

Along the way, you're given a range of options, such as converting villagers. Apparently in Black and White until you come along they sit in the Town Square in a fetal position suffering, no doubt, from deep seated existential angst. I can relate. One "converts" them by picking them up and setting them next to a job to do. Like Scientology, only without the Celeb Following.

You also raise a "Beast" which learns from watching your actions. You choose which Beast you want, the choices being a cow, monkey or tiger. Don't ask but I chose a cow. In all the old Bible Movies, everyone seemed to be dancing around a big giant cow at some point so it seemed right. My cow, let's just say it's a little wild. Ideally you do a deed (e.g. saving drowning children) and the cow learns from watching and helps. My cow is also, I was sad to learn, retarded. He or She or It wanders aimlessly, even occasionally breaking into a wild gallop. There's a "leash" to use but I have no idea how or what. I created a J.D. Cow whose goal in life seems to be just Cow Wilding.

The scariest part is I'm apparently just in the beginning stages of the game and I'm already exhausted. You laugh, but try being God and raising a Huge Cow. Yeah, exactly. There's a temple built for you, but fuggedaboutit. The villagers all have demands - food, kids. Oy.

Here's hoping I learn more. It's hard to believe the sole purpose of the game is to make you a neurotic overworked diety but to be honest, God knows.
8:53:18 PM    sro home /

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