REEL LIFE

I am making a new friend. In what may be one of the oddest couplings, a 41 year old gay man with AIDS is becoming good friends with a 24 year old Glamazon who has started her own soft drink company. Sarah is a delight and our natural and effortless rapport is a mystery missing a question.

Today we laid around and talked and watched the dogs while I ate the burrito she brought me. Her dog’s name is Lolly and is the smallest dog I’ve ever seen. Sarah literally takes her everywhere in a big mesh purse. Polly spent the afternoon eying Lolly in amazement while Lolly carried around a bone bigger than she was and barked to get on the bed.

Sarah has another friend who’s an Advertising Lesbian and has lots of connections for Sarah’s company. Tonight she and Ad Chick were going to a bar-b-que and I was invited to come along. The scoop was the host was an assistant director for Six Feet Under and being as much of a Star Fucker as anyone, I envisioned chatting amiably with Rachel Griffiths over a delicious cocktail by the pool. I love Aussie Chicks and we’d get a little buzzed and she’d ask to bum a cigarette and we’d laugh.

Sarah and Ad Chick came and picked me up. What do you wear to something like this? When Sarah was at my apartment earlier in the day, she gasped when she saw my closet saying “You have so many clothes!” I suppose I do - for a man - and yet later I hated everything. I could see how I wanted to present myself but all of those clothes were dirty. I wanted to be casual yet different, comfortable but not lazy looking. In short, I had lost touch with reality and was in some strange alternative party universe.

The first tip I had something was different was when we drove by an old apartment building and saw a group of people standing out front smoking and drinking beers from bottles. “This must be it!” exclaimed Ad Chick. I was overdressed.

We walked up to the building and outside was a man sitting behind a table covered in pens and clipboards. I seriously thought he was collecting money, like at a frat house keg party. Five bucks and all the Bud Light you can suck up! I seriously never thought I would attend a party like that again.

I was so off base. The bar-b-que was for Senior Volunteers for the Los Angeles gay film festival, Outfest. That would not be me. However, I was undaunted. Ad Chick explained there are thousands of volunteers and this party was for the main Movers and Shakers to allow them first pick of the choice events.

It was an odd crowd. It was the people who planned the Prom but probably didn’t go because Gay People couldn’t do that twenty years ago. It was alot of technical people in the Industry - make-up, costumes, directing - but not many actors. There were alot of lesbians. Someone was cooking hamburgers on a grill at the back of the small yard.

None of those things were problems for me despite being a secret spy posing as a seasoned volunteer. Everyone was friendly. The main events of the festival were revealed and we were sworn to secrecy. Oddly enough, when the Opening Film was announced I was one of the few people who gasped. I’d heard of the movie and lived in NYC during the film’s events so I’m very familiar with the subject matter.

There is apparently some odd logic regarding when to volunteer. Opening Night is a biggie. Before Parties are preferable to After Parties so you can “party later”. Ticket taking is good because when you’re done you can sit and watch the movie. It’s all new to me, so I’m not as concerned. I signed up for the Hospitality Crew who I think are the group that handles luminaries and attendees to Outfest.

When you meet someone at an event of this ilk here in LA, you just assume everyone works in the Industry. It’s actually very liberating not to be involved in the Biz, unconcerned with “Networking” and trading business cards. I was reminded of the subways in New York where deaf people quickly walk around handing out cards asking for money. I don’t have a card so I just smile and stand like a kid waiting for his parents to finish talking to the other adults before we can go.

I look forward to volunteering. I’m happy to meet people who are brought together by something other than the way they look. Frankly, it’s been so long since I’ve been in a social situation, I was exhausted. It takes alot of energy to keep up with people whose lives seem so intense. Involvement is scary and I described myself to Ad Chick tonight as a Recovering Divorcee. Sometimes it’s hard yet in the end, it’s all so easy. All people want is someone to listen. At the least I can offer All Ears.

11:10:47 PM    sro home /