REAL LIFE TOP FIVE

1. ANNIE LENNOX - “Wonderful” - from her new album Bare. I first heard this album at my doctor’s office and the receptionist asked what I thought. “Well,” I replied, “great music for killing yourself.” Of course I eventually bought the CD and despite song titles like “The Hurting Time” and “The Saddest Song I’ve Got”, overall it’s alot more upbeat than I expected. “Wonderful” manages to showcase her strengths - haunting, soaring vulnerability with a chorus that raises the roof. You know you’d be on your feet singing along with the rest of the audience and suddenly wondering which t-shirt to buy. Bare, my ass.

2. PATTI SMITH - “Rock and Roll Nigger” - from the Natural Born Killers soundtrack. Too bad the title carries so much baggage because it’s a great rocking anthem. Even Oliver Stone chose to underplay or overdub the “N” word in the movie, a rather antiquated move compared to the post-Eminem and Pulp Fiction era. Smith tries to de-stigmitize the word in her own way by using it as an allegory for all outsiders. “Jesus Christ was a nigger” she wails and in her world the word is a declaration not an insult. Art is created “outside of society” and she drives her theory home in a song made for driving fast and furiously away from those who would close your mind.

3. MACY GRAY - “Happiness” - from her new CD The Trouble With Being Myself . Macy Gray may be an acquired taste, like Billie Holliday, and I may not understand all the words or get hung up on tonality but it’s not really about what she says. Holliday tapped into inner pain but Gray calls on her inner kid for her loopy lyrics and catchy hooks. “Happiness for a day or two. That’s my limit, I’m a junkie just like you.” Sounds like Janis Joplin territory but it’s backed by a bouncy children’s choir shouting out “Happiness!” in an ode to Life’s addiction. It’s summer, you gleefully jump on the trampoline while a sprinkler waters the lawn and a big shit-eating grin is spread across your face.

4. MADONNA - Gap Ads - sure to appear omnipotently everywhere soon. I’ve read several items despairingly referring to Madonna’s recent decision to appear in Gap ads as if it signaled the End of Life On Earth. Given her recent track record, I don’t see how it could be anything but an Up Stat. Take away my Gay Card but I felt she Jumped the Shark awhile back, Way Back When songs like “Material Girl” were plump with irony as Madge rolled in the benefits of fame while simultaneously poking fun at herself. I didn’t buy American Life. Any of it. Now she sounds like the goal she worked so hard to obtain is just a big fat bummer. Not much fun to be had anymore and who wants to dance to whining? I know some still swear by her but I feel the Lady Doth Protest Too Much.

5. BACK TO MINE SERIES - Ok, here’s when I can pull out my Gay Card and do my “I Know Something You Don’t” dance. Maybe... this is a tough crowd, but what the hell, I do love doing the dance. Not that much different from my “I’ve Had Too Many Cocktails” dance or my “Tina Turner” dance, so you can see the attraction. The Back To Mine series asks well-known music impresarios to compile a CD of their favorite tunes and music that’s inspired them. I own three - Everything But The Girl, Danny Teneglia and Nick Warren - and all of them have at least one song you Can’t Believe You Never Heard. The ten minute “Do It Now” on the EBTG - life in a song. Go ahead and dance but remember, your body has no power here in Munchkinland. Just release and enjoy.

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