FIRST BASE

I got flirted at last week. I say “at” because while he was talking to me, I froze. I became a pillar of salt. I’m pretty sure I answered back but frankly, I couldn’t tell you for a million bucks what I said. I actually blushed, for god’s sake. I could feel my face tingling and if there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s my face holds no secrets. I wear my feelings pinned to my features like a first grade note for my mother to read. I was walking Polly at the time and even she looked at me like I had lost my mind. I literally forgot who I was.

Part of my discomfort was due to my prior expertise at that game. At one time, in a place far, far away, I would have easily handled the whole deal in a heartbeat. I would have asked about him, I would have illuminated similar interests, I would have closed the deal. I would have quickly gotten with the plan and scored a homerun.

Now, however, it seems I’ve lost it. I’m unsure of the difference between a bunt and a base hit and I’m standing so far away from the pitcher, he might as well be in another park. I can faintly see him in the distance but when the ball whizzes by my head, I look at it like it’s an extinct bird who’s just flown into my apartment.

I accept full responsibility for my clumsiness. I haven’t, after all, been going to practice. At some point the score just seemed so, so beside the point. So you hit one out of the park, big deal. Another homerun will not win the game.

My friend M. says I’m “out of the loop”. I’m sitting in the Loop Observation Area and watching it circle around and around, questioning if I jump back in the Loop, won’t I just end up in the same place eventually? Isn’t that the whole Loop Premise? One gets back into the Loop via Loopholes but I’d rather save my Loopholes for something a little more important to be honest. If I’m going to the trouble of rejoining the Team Roster, I want the promise of more than a jacket and giant foam finger when I retire.

A promise that noone can make, least of all me as evidenced by the mound of souvenirs I carry with me. What I can promise in the meantime is a frozen smile, no drooling and to respond with convincing alacrity.

7:49:35 PM    sro home /