ME AND GOD


Hey God.

Hey Hugh.

How’s it going?

Good, you?

As if you didn’t know.

I was being polite.

Natch. Thanks for coming though. Hope I’m not bothering you.

Oh, nooooo. Sunday, my busiest day of the week, oh nooo.

Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot about the church thing.

Whatever.

Well I just wanted to thank you for some things.

Oh really? I could go for that.

Duh. Who wouldn’t?

Come on then, get with it. Prayers to answer here...

Oh, ok. Well first I wanted to mention the trees and the sky last week. That was great.

Liked that huh?

Oh man. The sky was all marbled with clouds and then you had those tree branches lit by the sun and all sticky looking. Good work.

Yeah, I thought the light was a nice touch.

Indeed. And there’s Polly too. I must’ve been something great in my last life to deserve her.

Mmmm... not so great ... but you were a hard worker.

Inventing things, no doubt. Vaccines, irrigation...

Actually just building the pyramids. But you were always on time!

I was?

Must have got it out of your system back then huh?

I get preoccupied.

You’re forgiven.

Polly is a stroke of genius. You should get an award for coming up with her.

Like an Oscar?

Oscar? Uh, maybe not an Oscar since you obviously have nothing to do with Miramax. I was thinking more along the lines of a grant.

You kids.

Polly’s my role model. She loves everything and loves me most of all. I mean, not that I want to love me most of all but...

I got it. You could want worse.

Finally, thanks for letting me watch.

Letting you watch?

Yeah, all this stuff you’re doing all the time and I get to see. I’m honored. Obviously not everyone sees it. It’s like you’re not male or female, you’re just air that’s everywhere but you can’t put a finger on it until sometimes the leaves in the trees blow and make an amazing pattern of light on the grass. People are walking around thinking about everything and then someone actually comes out of their head and talks to you and suddenly there you are, making something happen.

Uh... yeah. It’s trippy alright.

I sound like a groupie. I just don’t get why everyone doesn’t feel it.

Well I asked them all but some just said “no” and you said “sure, ok”.

So basically you’re saying I’m not as special as I thought. Gee, thanks.

That’s not what I said.

It’s fine. I’m just some rube who happened to pick up the phone when you called.

Are you actually trying to make God feel guilty?

Oh. Maybe. That’s pretty lame.

Your words. But I appreciate your thanks .

Of course.

Of course.

It’s not easy being God, huh?

It’s harder to Not be God.

Ain’t that the truth.

Amen.

Amen.


12:41:06 PM    sro home /