REIGN MAN


Well. I see we have your resume. Very impressive Stats, you live alone and seem to be intelligent. So why do you want this job Mr. Elliott?

Well... uh... I like the uniforms.

The uniforms?

Yeah, I can wear sandals and shorts and it’s pretty much like Play Clothes all the time.

Mr. Elliott, we don’t have uniforms.

Oh. Are you sure?

Yes. What other reason do you want this job?

Ummm... the challenge?

The challenge?

Yeah, I pretty much see it as a PR problem but we could fix that in no time. It’s not that people don’t like Solitaire, it’s just they have a hard time getting excited about it. I was thinking of a new Theme Song.

We have a Theme Song.

Ugh. That hackneyed old pop ballad? Who can remember all the words? BOR-ing. After awhile people just start making up stuff like with The Star Spangled Banner. Something a little more upbeat with a hook would be nice.

So that would be your first act as King of Solitaire?

Maybe get the Pet Shop Boys on it... something, something Solitaire and then some stuff about liquor.

Liquor?

Oh yeah, even if you don’t drink you gotta admit all the big games involve liquor. Football, baseball... bowling gets TV time for god’s sake. Chess, Scrabble... not so much. I see endorsement potential. Amstel Light, proud sponsor of Solitaire. The only thing that beats drinking alone, is playing cards alone. Or something.

I see. Disco and beer.

Yeah, pretty much. That and uniforms.

Ok, well thank you for applying. We have several more interviews and then we’ll be reviewing our applicants and we’ll call you.

You have my cell number, right?

Yes we do.

We don’t have to get uniforms but I thought it’d be a cool idea.

Thank you Mr. Elliott.

Mizarahi might whip up something for us. And you know, that whole Theme Song thing isn’t written in stone. I kinda like that old Solitaire song. “...and Solitaire’s the only dame in town... she’s flaming Solitaire...” Get Celine on that baby.

Uh, goodbye.

Call me.

1:41:45 PM    sro home /