LEAPING BUILDINGS

I want to be a Superhero.

Naturally, I’ll have a Cape. The rare opportunity to wear something goofy without looking inappropriate will not be missed. Tights, masks - we see those all the time. So Last Issue. But a Cape, that’s an outfit. Whenever and wherever I leave, my Cape will flow gracefully behind me like a brief reminder of where I was.

These will be my SuperPowers:

1. I will be able to repair my car with my SuperMechanicBeam. Hands on hips, Cape fluttering patriotically behind me, the SMB will envelop my car and that weird knock will vanish. It ‘s imperative I have a SuperCar to get to my duties and the Dog Park. Humming smoothly down the road, Polly and I proudly posing in the gleaming windows, we’ll pass Citizens asking “Who was that?” Not now! On a Mission! Good ta see ya!

2. I won’t be able to fly but I will hover. Hovering seems vastly underrated for Superheros but that will change. Hovering will be the New SuperPower Black. No bumps to worry about, no mud, no wet grass. I’ll serenely float above the Earth while Polly crisscrosses beneath me, demonstrating my talent like a Magician’s Assistant with a large hoop. I’ll call her and she’ll jump into my arms to hover with me, both of us able to better appreciate the sky due to our new advantage.

3. I will not have to trim my nails. This isn’t important other than the fact I hate doing it. Blech. You do it and then they grow right back! Who thought of that? Perhaps the clippings will have some SuperUse to be determined at a later time.

4. My SuperHands will ooze with patience, compassion, relief, space and yes, Hula Boola. Full strength, all the time. I’ll gently touch someone’s arm or shoulder and they’ll instantly be full of my world and I will see theirs. I’ll leave behind a Band-Aid featuring my cartoon likeness so that even after I’m gone, they’ll have a memento of our meeting.

Of course, I’ll need a SuperName. Buzz Lightloafer. Tall Guy. The Funster. Hula Boola Man. The Hughminator. Hughman.

It’s a good gig for at least twenty years, after all I am only human. One day I’ll pick up the Cape from it’s shelf and feel it’s warmth like a blanket left in the sun or a cotton shirt fresh from the dryer. This time, my SuperHands will not release but absorb all the light and wonder. Polly will rest beside me like she always does while we fondly recall our SuperBehaviour. Thinking about what we have accomplished makes us both very happy.

3:13:15 PM    sro home /