LANI

A cafe around the corner from where I live, The Belmont, has finally opened. There are Waiters and leatherish banquettes on the indoor/outdoor patio. Understated and terribly tasteful but still kinda Lah-ti-dah. Best of all I can bring Polly and I can smoke. Excellent. Swimming Pools, Movie Stars. It’s a tad more expensive than it’s predecessor but worth the service, ambiance and convenience. Polly sits on the bench next to me where she receives adoration from the neighborhood clientele - a typical Hollywood mix of actors, writers, musicians and odds and ends like Me.

This morning I immediately noticed a Family sitting in a booth about halfway down the porch. The Mother was talking on a Cell Phone while pacing and giving out Heavy Someone Vibe. Her black pants were slit up the sides like an evening dress under a huge “Faux Vintage Rock Star” suede jacket with a fur collar. Natch. It was 10 A.M.

The Father (?) was sitting in the booth talking on a Cell Phone also. He had longish blond hair and a flawless tan. Rock Star-ish in some way, like Rod Stewart after huge amounts of surgery. Their two children, a six year old Girl and her ten year old Brother, were apparently waiting for the food. The girl was talking on a Cell Phone.

When they saw Polly, the Girl snapped her Phone shut and ran over with her Brother. I’m pretty sure about the “Brother” part. He had delicate features in a Future Josh Hartman kind of way. He also had a diamond in both ears and his t-shirt said “Androgynous”. No kidding. I wasn’t gonna say anything but... Too Much Information.

“I like your dog.”

He was very polite. I like when children ask before they pet Polly. As he reached down to rub her head, I noticed he was wearing a Rolex. Is there a line of Kiddy Rolexes? His sister sat right on the floor and cradled Polly’s face between her palms like she was holding a baby bird. Polly was polite in return. Around the Girl’s wrist was a Rolex like her Brother’s, a Barbie version of the chunky steel band.

“Do you live here?” the Brother asked.

“Yup. I live around the corner.”

“Does your dog live here?”

Uh... yesss. Just back away from the Children of the Corn. “She lives with me. Where is your family from?”

“Hawaii.”

He suddenly lost interest and without another word, wandered back to the Family table. His sister was still on the floor and seemed to be arranging Polly into different Dog-Like poses.

“I have a dog” the Girl finally said to me. “Her name is Lani.”

“Is that Hawaiian?”

“It means Heaven. She has a tattoo on her stomach.”

That’s a new one. “Like your phone number?”

“No, a butterfly.”

My first cappuccino was waiting, I had the New Yorker to read and Polly was trying to jump on the banquette. The Girl finally stood and joined her Brother when their food arrived. Cartoon Issue. God, I love Roz Chast. This place has awesome bagels. A couple who also eat often at The Belmont enters and the woman kisses Polly on her nose. The Mother stands from the Family table before briskly walking out the restaurant door. I turn and see her across the street where she can talk on her Cell in private.

9:47:10 PM    sro home /