ENTROPY


1. The other day I was talking with a young man and woman about the show American Bandstand. “I used to watch that show”, I remembered. “Really?” came the much-too-vague reply. I realized they had no idea what that experience was like. I could have said I walk through walls and they would have given the same polite but curious answer. “Yeah” I dug in further, “I bought my first 45 after seeing the Fifth Dimension perform on American Bandstand.”

“45?”

“You know. The record.”

The guy nudged the girl and said “Record” with a bemused giggle. I had to explain the whole 45 concept along with the yellow thingy you put in the big hole to make it fit your stereo. I don’t know the name of those things but I can vividly picture them. They made great truck wheels. Finally I realized I was describing the Dodo.

“Yup, we had 45s right up until the dinosaurs came. Then we had to get rid of them.”

They both laughed and the girl said “Yeah, like in the Flintstone movie.”


2. The other day at the dog park a young blond woman was wearing a hat that said Gaboratory Industries. Curious, I asked her what it meant and she told me it was a jewelry company here in LA.

“Oh, I thought it had something to do with Zsa-Zsa Gabor. Like they send you to the Gaboratory to make you blonder and Hungarian and marry rich men. All these big blond Glamazons in lab coats with those electric things shooting up and down.”

My stunning visual aside, “Who”, she asked, “is Zsa-Zsa Gabor?”


3. After watching The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Brittany and her Animal Cracker are suddenly overcome with the urge to get married. The Remake, I’m betting. Life is short, Clem, and any moment here in my suite at the hotel we might be set upon by crazed killers with powertools on really, really long cords! Let’s elope!


4. Hugh, look at the size of that sheepdog! It looks like Big Bird’s dog, Barkley!
Big Bird has a dog?
Yeah, you know, He’s big and shaggy.
Where does he keep a dog?
It’s his dog! Didn’t you ever watch Sesame Street?
Yeah, but Big Bird didn’t have a dog. Is it a muppet or a person?
I think it’s two people. Big Bird is a person and Barkley is a person. Elmo is a muppet.
Elmo?



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