Saturday, February 21, 2004
PASSION PLAY
I just don’t get it.
Jesus.
What?
It’s a line. You’re an actor. Just say it.
It doesn’t make sense.
It’s a fucking movie. Just say the line!
What’s my motivation again?
Ok, we’ll go over it one more time. You’re walking through the market, preaching and talking to your disciples and stuff and you come on the crowd around this woman. Honey, what’s your name again?
Brittany.
Yeah, you come on Brittany and the crowd’s all angry at her.
I’m a whore.
Keep it off the set, honey. Besides, you’re not exactly a whore, you’re an adulteress.
I’m wearing a wig!
Ok, simmer down. So they’re all mad and shit and they’re holding up rocks. Can we get the rocks in here?
And then I say it.
Exactly. “He who is guilty, cast the first stone.”
Ah... like the rocks.
Yeah, like the rocks. So can you just say that?
What language is this again?
Jesus Christ.
Huh?
Can we get the translator guy in here?
Hello.
Can you tell the Lord here what this says?
Well, actually, uh, it translates as “Drink Diet Coke.”
But in some other language! No one will know, ok? Just say it.
What kind of soft drink would Jesus drink? I need to think about that.
Really, you don’t.
I’m just saying. Can we get me a Diet Coke?
Ah Christ.
What?
2:42:51 PM  sro home /
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ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND HITS OF SOLITUDE
Today Standing Room Only passed the 100,000 hits mark which in an internet arena devoid of many milestones is pretty empty and meaningless. However it’s also empty and meaningless that it’s empty and meaningless so I will mark the occasion. I have figured the Hit Breakdown as follows :
20,000 hits - me checking for comments and such
70,000 hits - unlucky horny websurfers looking for porn
5,000 hits - people googling Joe Millionaire, Will Kemp and Hunky Santa
4,000 hits - people coming from Real Live Preacher wondering what the deal is
1,000 hits - people like you who actually read SRO
So to You, I say thanks. It’s been a truly evolutionary experience.
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