TESTIFY


Ms. Rice, we’re about to begin. Are you ready?

Umm-hmmm.

Ok. Ms. Rice please tell us about events on September 11th.

Well, what you want to know?

You spoke with the President.

Yeah, I spoke with him. I am an advisor, dumbass. What you think, I sent him some pictures I drew?

Do you have a question about that?

You the one asking the questions! C’mon! Bring it on! I ain’t got all day you know. Shit, this is taking up valuable time I could be using for a pedicure.

We’re just trying to get an accurate picture of events, Ms. Rice.

Don’t even go there. First off, it’s Doctor Rice to you. Most of you fuckers probably never even went to school. Second, I ain’t got no “accurate picture” of what happened. You think I was sitting around writing shit in my diary or something? Hell no. All the muthafuckas in the White House were freaking out.

So there was some concern?

Concern? You bet your ass there was con-cern. All we wanted to do was get the fuck out of there. Damn, we might as well just stuck Dubya on the front lawn with a big-ass target on his butt.

And where was Mr. Clark during this time?

How the fuck should I know? Do I look like a maid to you? All those fat white bastards look alike to me. Hell, I asked one once if we could meet in the Oval Office and turned out the muthafucka was the cleaning guy. I have no idea what Clark was doing.

Ok, Dr. Rice. Did you and the President have any conversations about Iraq?

If conversation means watching him spit up milk and bust a vein, yeah, we “conversed”. Damn. Why do white people get so red when they’re mad? It’s like they become pink people.

Did you and the President make any plans?

Yeah, we talked about chicken for dinner. Plans? The only plan I had was to get my skinny ass out of there.

And the President?

I’m sure he was planning something. Probably trying to figure out where the door was. One time he walked into a closet and stayed in there for an hour just so we’d think it was a real room. That man ain’t right.

Maybe we should end this now, Dr. Rice.

Already? I went through all this shit and all you wanna know is where everybody was? Damn, that is cold. I’ll tell ya, you better hope Dubya gets beat this election cause if he don’t, your ass is grass.



1:12:35 PM    sro home /