BREAKFAST IN LA

I had breakfast on Wednesday with a friend who happens to be a Straight Male Porn Star. “M” and I have known each other for years and “M” has been involved in Adult Films for around ten months. He’s apparently had great success, no doubt due to his Abercrombie body and looks. You may have expected me to say Big Dick but no, “M” informed me he was just average, between 6.5/7 (and that was without me asking).

“M” knows I’m gay and this casual talk of body parts and sex acts between two men was oddly bonding. It wasn’t clouded by the frisson and envy of two queers discussing Tricks nor was it the “I’m a Stud” preening of two straight men. It was just candid. I happened to be a willing and spellbound ear for his experiences.

As you may or may not know, the Straight Porn community here in the Valley has recently faced an HIV scare following the recent positive diagnosis of two actors. I’ve been following the coverage and so know a bit about the whole ordeal. “So I guess you haven’t been working much lately?”

It seems he hasn’t but has done so well previously he’s managed fine. He did a number of films produced for a female demographic in which (converse to the norm in Straight Porn) he’s more of the focus. The perks are apparently drastic. “I get a choice of wardrobe, there’s great food, we’re in an amazing location. Sometimes I even get to pick the girls. I can say, No, not her. Definitely her. Yeah, she’s good but tell her to get her nails done.”

I wondered what “done” entailed. Re-polished? French tip? Cut to the base?

“Are the directors men?” I asked.

“No, man. It’s all chicks. Very cool. Alot of them were in Porn too. You have to be careful to keep it professional. It’s not I wouldn’t bang one but I don’t want to fuck up my business relationship. If she makes a pass at me and I say No, she might not hire me again.”

Just like “Real Hollywood” I remark. “Exactly”.

Like any other culture, Porn has it’s own language and shorthand. The Chick Flick Porn is XX as opposed to XXX, the difference being “no anal and no money shots on the face”. Erections are “wood” but move from descriptive word to a State of Being. “I was Wood.” For a Male Porn Actor, to be Wood is Nirvana and a Superpower greatly coveted.

The other Superpower is, naturally, a Big One. Here’s where “M” admitted his normalcy and said he was amazed at the size of some of the other male actors on sets. Is it intimidating?

“Fuck yeah! Especially when you’re doing a Three-Way with a girl and it’s right there in front of you. These guys are huge! It even made me lose Wood, I was so intimidated.”

“M” began telling me a story about a recent shoot where they’d apparently double booked two girls with the same name. He lit up as he went on, an 8 year old talking about Star Wars. I finally realized where the story was going. “Wait a minute, was this your first Three-Way?”

“Yes!” He jumped and clapped. Ever?, I wondered. I suddenly felt very, very dirty.

“YES! I mean, with two chicks. I’ve done two guys and a girl. ” Hmm, I wondered, is a Three-Way only a Three-Way for straight men if both of the other two are women? Otherwise, apparently, it’s a Two-Way with some other dude hanging around.

He excitedly continued his story, “And one chick was so tight and then the Wookie shot down the Dark Star and I was Wood for, like, 2 1/2 hours!” It was, of all things, rather charming, his disbelief at this incredible good fortune. He told me he left the set that day and called all his friends to tell them what just happened. Aw. He was so proud, It was like hearing my son describe his First Kiss. My heart had Wood.

As for the HIV crisis, “M” is naturally concerned but still continues to get work offers. One major straight adult studio recently announced they’ll be using condoms all the time. “Would you trust any of the girls you work with?” I asked “M”.

“Are you kidding?” he quickly replies. “Not any further than I could toss them.”

12:30:55 PM    sro home /