TRUE OR FALSE


I was raised by wolves.

False : I was not raised by wolves however I did live with several after college. This was, in fact, when I learned to speak Dog.

My mother was a SuperModel.

False : My mother was a Las Vegas showgirl who was also an undercover spy for an Omnipotent International Organization. Her code name was “Vivance!”.

My mother is the Fifty Foot Woman.

True : Measuring in at an impressive 6 foot 2 inches, she is often mistaken for the Goddess of several mid-African tribes. This is also due to a hair issue which remains unsolved.

My Mother acts like my Grandmother.

True : If said out loud, this information will activate the chip imbedded in your brain which will render you invisible. Also see: “My Sister acts like my Mother”. Again, you have been warned. Fortunately, I act like James Bond.

My Mother is a great woman.

True: Aside from her ability to fly, her World Class martial art skills and intimate knowledge of over 6000 languages, she also raised Me. This in itself qualifies her for a Golden Couch and several cherubic cats.

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