WHY LESS

Because I have Wireless on my laptop (Note to Betty: I wouldn’t mind a new iBook. G4? Pls. look into.), I recently discovered I’m in range of Someone else’s internet signal. Someone also has DSL (which I didn’t don’t) and my newly acquired abilities have left me giddy. I can DL music illegally up to ten times faster! Ha. Ha. Just kidding!

To my credit, I asked some of my peers (in a Theoretical kind of way) whether this would classify as stealing. No, they bluntly replied. “You see”, I continued, “I’m not paying for the DSL but I’m not not paying for the DSL.” Yeah, we got. I eagerly added, “If someone were to throw buckets of $100 bills in the street, would we be wrong to pick them up?” Everyone pretended to talk on their cell.

My Creepy Attorney Defense points to some guilt on my part. I’d even like to send Someone a Thank You note for I really do appreciate Someone’s largesse. They have not only enriched my life but Someone's unwitting contribution has made a huge dent in the Online Porn Industry or what we here at Hugh Central call “Freedom of Speech” (wink, wink).

I’ve become strangely symbiotic with this Someone. When the connection fades (as it often does), I envision Someone on the other end doing Something that needs more power. Something important - streaming huge amounts of urgent business data to Hong Kong. Stat! I actually picture this non-gendered Ghost of an Idea sitting in front of a huge lit screen. Meanwhile, Little Me on my teeny iBook was just flipping through Amateur Hunks like an idle teen with a A&F catalogue. So who am I to complain? I’m sure there must be some way Someone could, you know, turn up the signal on their end. That would be nice. Also, could “Someone” not use it so much around 7 PM?

I’m just saying.

12:15:13 PM    sro home /