EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW


1. I have now lived in L.A. long enough that 65 degrees is “cold”.

2. My mother has supposedly started dating again. Since I hear everything second-hand via my sister,C., I tend to view the whole thing sceptically. Example : Described to me as “a male Anna Nicole Smith with an eye patch”. Uh, ok. Frankly that sounds kinda cool. He’s also younger than my mother which my sister finds unexplainable. “Maybe she just wants to get laid” I offer in an attempt to quench C.’s hysteria. Hmm, I shoulda had a Plan B. “Well” I conclude, “just remind her to use protection.”

3. Polly has developed a habit of sitting off by herself in the Dog Park, her back facing everyone. She’s apparently patrolling for gophers but I actually think she likes her moments alone. I tell everyone she’s like the Goth Kid in school who looks interesting but who’s just thinking “fuck you, fuck you, you think you’re all sooo cool”. Should a dog come over however, she amiably wags her tail and shoves her nose up their butt. Awww, my little girl is growing up.

4. I got a new Spanish maid who thankfully speaks english. However when I talk she still looks at me like I’m a Big Crazy Person which I had assumed was a Language Thing. (Note to Betty: what’s up with that?). Not crazy about the word “maid”, I have created a new term : Household And Zone Environmental Leader or H.A.Z.E.L. Feel free to use it.

5. Recent Celebrity Sightings : Kirsten Dunst, Julia Roberts, Allison Janney, Neil Mahoney, Rebecca Stamos, Owen Wilson, Freddie Muniz, Zach Braff, Anthony Whoever from The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

11:28:41 AM    sro home /