THE PREMISE

Ok, so it’s about this total babe Alien Chick.

Yeah, like J-Lo but hotter.

Yeah, and this babe’s name is “SevenOfEleven”. Get it?

Huh, yeah. It’s like a joke. Good one man.

And 7of11 is a teacher at Alien High.

Right, right. Like Saturn Public or something.

Or just Alien High. She’s like the total Cool Teacher plus being super hot so all the Jock Alien Teens listen to her.

Yeah, they’re all like “Man, we go through wormholes all the time” and “Man, my slimey alien shit don’t stink” but then the Babe Teacher says like “ALGEBRA IS FUTILE” and they all shut up.

Then there’s this Big Shot Alien Dude, Mr. Borg, and all her friends just call him Borg. So he comes in and takes 7of11 away from the school to a big castle.

Yeah, like a fort.

No, a fortress...

Cool! With this huge set of tits shining over it looking at everything.

Or a logo. Or like this huge car.

Yeah, ebil shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Cause “ebil” is this other language we just make up. With subtitles, even when they’re just talking normal.

Yeah, like “Ebil Lohanbies” means “Here is the dungeon”.

7of11 just freaks man. The fortress is like way out in the middle of nowhere. Ebil.

Way.

She’s like “Get me the fuck out of here!” but in that other language and he’s all “Shut the fuck up!” but subtitles say “We’ll go on a trip!”

So they get on this Huge Spaceship and go to this Planet where it’s like a music video, like “Planet Freedom” or something. All Hot Alien Chicks dancing all the time. Everywhere. Even the Alien Coffee Bean girl is hot.

Mr. Borg takes 7of11 to one place where she can’t smoke and then all this wild shit happens we haven’t figured out yet.

Like lasers.

Yeah and that thing where they run around the walls. With dancing.

And chicks.

So she leaves.

Outie.

In slo-mo so her Alien Hair is freaking you out.

Then we end it. Just like that .You’re all like “Whoa! What was that shit?” and “Man! Fuck!”. Like your mind is so blown.

It’s just the first one though. It’s like “Here, the second one is coming out soon kids”. This is just Open All Night I. Wait till Open All Night 2!

Yeah, like “Open Even Later Than That”.

Or just Open All Night 2.

Cool. Irony, right?

12:00:36 PM    sro home /