TRAILER PARK


I, Robot
Bottom Line : Minority Report meets Attack of The Clones
Big Name : Will “So Much For Ali” Smith
Aw Factor : Scared kitten.
Crazy Machines : Gazillions.
Money Shot : W.S. - “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” Highly Botoxed Robot - “I’m not familiar with that phrase.”
Mantra : It could have been Vin Diesel.

Alien vs Predator
Bottom Line : Lara Croft :Tomb Raider with slime.
Big Name : The Absence of Sigorney Weaver.
Aliens : Gazillions.
Aw Factor : The Hatching of Baby Aliens = The Miracle of Acid Spewing Life.
Money Shot : Nuclear Explosion and Monster Stare-Off.
Mantra : You’ll never eat lunch in this underground Alien Hotel again.

Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events
Bottom Line : The Grinch moves in with The Adams Family.
Big Name : Jim “My ADD Pays The Rent” Carrey
Aw Factor : Fat confused baby.
Money Shot : Carrey hopefully getting obliterated by a speeding train.
Mantra : Ruining children’s lit one book at a time.

Ocean’s 12
Bottom Line : Sequel.
Big Name : Vanity Fair cover.
Aw Factor : You’re forced to read the trailer. You’re smart!
Money Shot : Retro graphics + Jazzy Music = And cool!
Mantra : More is better. Right? Right?

Kinsey
Bottom Line : A Beautiful Mind meets Penthouse Forum.
Big Name : Liam “Hung Like a Horse” Neeson
Aw Factor : Sweet Little Old Lady confesses she “invented” something indecipherable but presumably filthy.
Innuendoes : Gazillions
Money Shot : (see Big Name)
Mantra : And you thought you were “special”.

11:25:49 PM    sro home /