STANDING ROOM ONLY

Friday, April 22, 2005

UNDERDOG

Dear Superman,

Dude. This latest picture of you from the set of your new movie is, well, creepy.

Why? It’s hard to explain exactly. Something about “putting into too literal terms what we really don’t care to know”. Like Too Much Information and I’m talking about the get-up.

Example : It seems in this picture you’re actually wearing red underwear over your tights. This never bothered me before but now... uh... FREAK-y! Plus your little tap shorts have a belt! Less a belt, more like a “scarflet”. With a buckle! WTF? Does the “belt” keep your red underwear from falling? Do you actually undo the buckle to take them off? Yeah, yeah, I knew you always wore this outfit but I never took the idea to Separates. I guess back in the 30’s it’s what you had to do but now it just looks retarded. Sorry.

Exhibit B : The boots. So they’re actual boots, huh? Made of leather(?). Fine corinthian leather from the looksy. Kinda distressed, like from an old Cadillac. Whatevs, they’re very Euro-trash with all the seams and rich mahogany and the shiny. Something the Lead Singer with Long Hair in a band might tuck his pants into. Ooops. My bad.

I really don’t mean to diss you. After all, we Superheros have to stick together but man, dude, you really really could use a mirror.

Pow and Shazams,

Hughman

1:57:46 PM

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