BRUCE THE COMPUTER SPEAKS


Hello, uh, Bruce.

How ya doing? Bruce, Bruce The Computer.

Right. So, BRUCE (heh heh), how’s it going so far in your new home?

Not bad, not bad actually. I feel like I’m starting to fit in, you know. Part of Tha Family. Hugh’s got his place. Polly’s got her place. And now, I got my place. Right by tha bed. Lemme tell ya, I’m ready to go.

Nice, nice. Hugh’s also been trying to keep you clean, we hear.

Yeah, he has. Lemme tell you something. I appreciate it. I’m proud of my body, you know. Nice to have a little wipe once in a while.

I bet.

His last computer was a cute broad but man oh man, she looked Old. Missing her key. Hate to see that happen, you know?

Indeed. What about your memory?

Are you kiddin’ me? Sharp as a tack. Go ahead, ask me something;. A question. Anything. Go on.

Well, uh... what’s the date?

Pfffttt... piece of cake. It’s at the top of my fucking screen! Thursday, 5/12/05. Fer crying out loud, gimme some credit.

Sorry. I blanked when you asked.

No problem. Hey, that’s what I’m for right? Everything you need to know, right here in this Baby.

Baby?

Baby... Stud... you know, whatever. It’s an expression!

Ok “baby”.

Watch your mouth, smartass. Who do you think pulled off that whole “Totes Brill” job? Huh? You thought it just happened, didn’t ya. I got my eye on you.

Well Bruce, thanks for your comments.

No problem. Any time you want, you just come around and tell them Bruce sent you. Best seat in the house, swear on my mother’s hard drive.

Eeek. Ok.

See ya.

2:03:39 PM    sro home /