The Barbaric Yawp

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Saturday, December 07, 2002
 

Consider the limerick.  As poetry goes, it is considered the bastard stepchild at best.  And yet, some of the greatest literary lights of the ages have succumbed to its tawdry allure.  Among notable practitioners are Benjamin Franklin, Oliver Wendell Holmes and Ogden Nash.

That mad poet Edward Lear was one of the most prolific of the limiricists and as responsible as anyone for its slightly bawdy image.  The five-line poem orginated, oddly enough, in County Limirick, Ireland, near the village of Croom.  In that vicinity, a group known as the Maigue poets would gather in taverns during the 18th century to regale each other with their creations.  There was undoubtedly a fair amount of collateral damage inflicted on innocent bystanders.

While perusing some old files recently, I came across some examples of the genre that I regurgitated back in 1989.  Rather than immediately destroying the files, I allowed my curiosity to get the best of me.  The occasion was the centennial of Washington state.  In honor thereof, I undertook one of those obsessive projects that had no hope of ever making me any money, but was challenging and stimulating.  Writers do things like that all the time.

The resulting collection was called Washericks.  There were no less than 100 limericks, each containing at least one Washington state place name.  You may not recognize some of these names if you're not from this corner of the country, but you can certainly appreciate the effort that went into some of these rhymes.

A busty old girl from Mazama

Claimed she was the last Red Hot Mama.

She'd ape Sophie Tucker

And look for some sucker

Who'd take her to lunch in Kalama.

***

Some radical kids in Ephrata

Were playing with explosive data.

With naive aplomb

They fashioned a bomb

And all that is left is a crata.

***

When babies in old Mukilteo

Find problems with their suckleteo,

They import some titties

From down in Tri-Cities

And you can hear them chuckleteo.

***

Marine master sergeant Will Kemper

Was constantly losing his temper.

"I live in Cowiche

And that makes me bitchy,"

He said, "but my fi is still semper."

***

A bicycle rider named Danny

Was usually clever and canny,

But he lost his toe clips

While riding through Moclips

And put a new crack in his fanny.

***

A sexy young lady named Taylor

Was heard to exclaim, "Hello, sailor!

Come up to Port Townsend,

I'll show you the rounds and

Go fishing in my Boston Whaler."

***

A nasty old coot called Torquemada

Got thrown off the Spanish Armada.

He came to Port Orchard

Where he could be tortured

and stay at an inn called Ramada.

***

A young Casanova named Meany

Was hurriedly passing through Cheney.

You're anticipating

That I'm contemplating

A line here that's very obsceney.

***

A rest room that needs no description

Contains this beguiling inscription:

"Don't diddle in Cashmere

Or you'll get a rashmere

And have to go get a prescription."

***

A zombie who rose from his casket

Would carry his head in a basket.

"'Twas in Anacortes

I got rigor mortis

And worms ate my flesh in Tonasket."

***

There once was a fellow named Dooley

Who wanted to blow up Grand Coulee.

A miscalculation

Was his ruination

And now he's in Ultima Thule.

***

There's been a Norwegian migration

From Ballard because of inflation.

And now there's a blonde array

living in Pend Oreille

Pondering predestination.

***

There was a young fry-cook from Twisp

Whose accent was marked by a lisp.

He played with his penith

While cooking in Zenith

And got the thing fried to a crisp.

***

Instead of throwing tomatoes, why not try writing a few about your place of residence?  It'll never make you rich, but it's a helluva lot more fun than watching "Fear Factor."

 

 


4:19:53 PM    comment []


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