Mercedes Benz Man

You know how on your way to work every morning, you come to make the trip with the same folks day after day - recognizing their vehicles on the busy road? I sure notice this.

I know of several actually on my way to work. There is the "Purple Camaro Lady," with a rather large dent on her driver's side door and a "Princess" sticker in her back window (I think she is the type I would term a "stuck up cunt.") There is also the "White Jeep Dude" who always has his top down, no matter what the weather conditions are (deemed the eternal 80's idiot.) Then, my personal favorite, "Blue Cobra Fastback Guy." I have no idea what the Mustang guy looks like, as his windows are dark tinted, but damn if his car doesn't make me hot. It's sweeter than Eleanor from Gone in 60 Seconds, and seriously folks, that car is the only female on this earth that makes me wet (yes people, I actually get turned on by a car.)

There is this one driver though that I will never grow accustom to. In fact, he put definition into the words "gives me the willies."

Just about very single morning for the past year and a half on my way to work I encounter this "Mercedes Benz Man." I try and I try not to even acknowledge his existence, but it is very difficult seeing how he has such a major staring issue to the point that I wonder if I have permanent burn scars on my face.

You see, on his hands and wrists he drips in gold; this I am venturing a guess is supposed to be a hint of his wealth and/or status while he is not traveling in his over-priced mode of transportation. His hair is just so (oh crap he caught a gust of wind - note to self - Hair 364B is out of place - I repeat - Hair 364B is out of place) and his ritzy "look at me" car dons a constant jet black high-gloss sheen. Basically, he is some anal rich guy approaching his 50's and thinks he is the total and absolute shit.

I have about had it with this guy. God damn, go away. What does he want from me anyhow? Jesus dude, it's been over a year since our cars passed each other that ill-fated morning, and I still pretend you don't exist, stop staring already!

Think it's time to start arriving at work on time.

6:57:01 PM