Adventures in Driving a U-Haul
Now, about my move... Handling the U-Haul was an adventure, let me tell ya. I normally drive a Honda Civic, so 24 foot diesel truck pulling my Civic on a dolly was a tad bit interesting to say the very least. Because my leaving ended up becoming last minute (you have 3 days to pack your entire house and get the fuck out because it is in the paperwork) I had to take the only truck I could get a hold of.
The truck was a piece of shit, OK folks. It was really really old and beat up, the steering was a mess, the A/C didn’t work, the thing had to be from the 80’s and it got a whopping 6 miles to the gallon.
Allow me to stress, driving this thing was a total nightmare. The POS was all over the freaking road, I could barely control it. I had like NO power, going over a hill was an amazing feat in itself. By the time I would get to the top of a steep hill (I would go at them at roughly 75 miles per hour) I would be lucky if I was going 20. I know I have a lot of shit, but good lord… Going around a corner at times put tears in my eyes, so scary. Yes, I cried like a big old baby. I kept thinking I was going to hit a passing car or semi because it was impossible to steer.
The first day I made horrible time, mostly because I had to constantly stop for gas and roll up a broken window. Stayed the night in a nice hotel somewhere in North Carolina. The next morning we headed out, me and my little travel buddy, my 5 year old daughter. She thought it was great, in this big 'ol truck, and every gust of wind that whipped us around made her giggle in glee. Meanwhile my knuckles were bloody and my nerves were shot after the first hour.
And oh yes, bonus round, the window had to be pulled up every two hours because it would go down on it’s own. The knob was broken, and it worming it’s way down – while IT WAS RAINING.
Suddenly I started smelling this overwhelming scent of diesel fuel. Then, I say to myself, “Fuck, it smells like I have bathed myself in diesel fuel.” Yes, those were my exact words. Nose hairs curling, I thought I was going to barf. Suddenly, our feet were soaking wet, and I looked down to see this sudsy bubbling shit spray from the floorboards. Talk about flip out. There I am, about ready to go over the Appalachian Mountains…
I see it, an exit sign. The LAST exit before the mountains. I get off, and pull into a gas station somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Mt. Airy is the name of the town, and catch this. The hometown of Andy Griffith, and the set for the Andy Griffith Show. As in the Town of Mayberry. Only me folks, only me.
I open my door, and out pours so much diesel fuel it would blow your MIND. Don’t believe me? I will post pictures as soon as I get batteries for my digital camera so I can load them up. That’s right, I have photos. Here on out I will try to post proof for my blog, seeing how the crappy shit that happens to me nobody tends to believe due to the fact THE BULLSHIT NEVER FREAKING ENDS. *insert large toothy fake smile here*
Guess what? I was driving the entire time on 7 cylinders with a major fuel leak spraying right near the engine the entire trip. The line totally burst RIGHT BEFORE the Appalachian Mountains and began to spray out full force out of the console and floor boards, causing my daughter and I (and the inside of that piece of shit truck) to be covered in diesel fuel as it SPRAYED from the center console.
And yet ANOTHER BONUS ROUND it turns out also the power steering was bad. God, I feel like such a retard for driving it in the first place. That is of course why I was unable to STEER IT! *gets hyper*
Next time, I will write about the hell hole town I got stuck in for an entire day. God, talk about feeling life your life is one BAD movie…
For now, I am going to sniff some potpourri, I smell diesel fuel again. Oh, the memories.
1:21:53 AM 
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