Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Happy New Year from Tunisia. I woke up this morning and realized something--we have a new baby due to arrive this week.  The official due date is Sunday, but  we're in the drop zone so labor could start literally any minute.  I know it may seem bizarre to say that I "realized" this at the end of month nine, but the whole thing has seemed unreal for a while now.  It is terrifying and exciting at the same time; I have another essay that still captures many of my feelings about this subject in Hyperbole Progeny and Beyond.  The last couple of weeks have been very poignant as it relates to our now-only-and-soon-to-be-oldest daughter, Mercedes, who will be 2 years old in March.  I'm very excited about the new baby girl, but there's also a real sadness about making this transition.  I suspect every parent of more than one child knows what I mean.  It's not that I fear not having enough love for two daughters, or that I worry that the deuce won't hold up to the extraordinarily high standards set by her spectacularly gorgeous and brilliant--not to mention socially adroit--sister.  It's actually this feeling of impending change in my relationship with Mercedes.  Undeniably, when the deuce is born, things will change with Mercedes, and no matter what, they will never, ever be exactly the same.  Of course, our relationship will continue to broaden, to deepen, to expand in every direction, and I love that.  But she will no longer be the only focus of her parents' love and attention, and if that's not a big change, I don't know what is.  It's exciting to have the change, but it's sad, too.  Because things are great right now.  Mercedes is great. We considered having only one child, but the tradeoffs seemed minimized by the enrichment we know we'll receive from another baby, as well as the enrichment that they will receive from each other.  And I know for certain that this sadness will fade as we fall in love with the deuce and life moves forward, better than before.  But I hope I always remember these days of love and fun and satisfaction and amazement with Mercedes before they're lost and gone forever.   2:49:33 PM    Let's hear it. []