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Thursday, February 13, 2003 |
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Periodically, I'll write a bit about interesting websites. Check this out: Rapture Ready is a site devoted to passing on information about the any-day-now beginning of the end of the world--the Rapture. There has been an incredibly wide-selling series of books on this theme--the "Left Behind" series. According to Christian fundamentalists, the end of the world will begin when all the people in the world who believe in Jesus Christ and are properly faithful are called to Heaven. As such, millions and millions and millions of people will evidently just disappear. The rest of you poor suckers will be left behind to suffer mightily at the hands of the Antichrist until the Prochrist shows up to set up heaven on earth for his followers. I heard about this site about a year ago when Time Magazine did a big spread on this apocalyptic Christian thinking--allegedly, 55% of Americans believe that the entire Bible is literally true, including the Book of Revelations, which is where this Rapture stuff comes from. I REALLY question these statistics, but I didn't see the survey. Anyway, Rapture Ready is a very, very popular website, I gather. This is the amazing part--the believers of this stuff are not a fringe cult--they run the federal government, and that's not an exaggeration. It must be seen to be believed--it's interesting on many levels--but there are a couple of things worth noting in particular. The description of the Rapture on the front page of the site reads like this: "The rapture is going to strike without warning. The rapture is going to happen suddenly. The rapture is going be one of the most astonishing events to ever occur." One of the most astonishing events ever to occur? Look, I'm a nonbeliever, but if the Rapture happens and the Antichrist swoops down and millions of people disappear without a trace, let's go ahead and chalk that one up as somewhat more astonishing than, say, Villanova beating Georgetown in the '85 Finals. On the astonishing chart, I'd rank it right at the top, behind only Patrick Swayze's groundbreaking performance in "Dirty Dancing." There is a section on the site devoted to those left behind, which includes what to expect during the seven years of hardship before J.C. arrives to kick A.C.'s ass. These include famine, war, homosexuality, and flesh eating beasts leaping out of the earth. Thankfully, the site offers some advice, which includes things like "Take lots of Vitamin C" and "Don't accept the Mark of the Beast." The most interesting thing on the site is the "Rapture Index". The Index has various categories and gives them a mathematical value from one to five. Each category is a measure of how close we are to The Rapture. For example, today's Index rates Interest Rates at a mere 1, but Apostasy is soaring at a 5. Volcanoes are at a 5, but Gog is at 4. False Christs is plummeting to 2, just ahead of Satanism at 1, but Kings of the East, Mark of the Beast, Beast Government, and The Antichrist are all topping out at 5. I do not know how these numbers are reached, nor do I particularly care, because the numbers themselves are what counts. All I know is that when you add them up they seem to spell R-A-P-T-U-R-E. This is the, unaltered, the chart at the bottom of the Index page: Rapture Index of 85 and Below: Slow prophetic activity Our Rapture Index presently sits at 175. The Antichrist is coming, folks, and he is pissed. If you can't stomach the thought of reading this information online, you can check out the 1991 movie titled "The Rapture", starring Mimi Rogers. Here's a review. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to stock up. I'll skip the duct tape, thank you very much. I've got to get to GNC and get some antioxidants.The rapture is going to be one of the most astonishing events to ever occ ur. 3:14:05 PM  Let's hear it. []
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Last update: 3/2/2003; 2:40:52 PM .
