Monday, March 31, 2003

I've started watching my spam emails a bit more closely to see whether or not there's anything there that will be particularly helpful to me.  I get 75 to 100 spam messages a day, which is obviously anyone's dream come true.  There are any number that are too boring to consider--cheap insurance, printer cartridges, low-interest loans, cartoon porn.  But some really stand out.  Here are the subject lines for my five favorite spam messages over the last 24 hours: 5.  "Need $24K in 24 Hours?" What I love about this is the precision--exactly $1000 dollars per hour for one full day.  "But," you say, "I only need $16,000 in 16 hours!"  Well, this program--real estate investments--is simply not for you, my friend.  We only help those who need $24,000 in 24 hours.  Try next door. 4.  "Win Hooked on Phonics for you child" This is great. I've been thinking about teaching my daughter to read, but I really felt as if it would be better to wait to win a contest than to buy the thing.  I thought she'd have to wait until her early teens at least.  But now, things look good.  And I feel particularly good about this product because the person who sent this to me is obviously such a good reader--"Win Hooked on Phonics for you child".  I don't know if they meant to use "your" instead of "you", or if they simply missed a comma--"Win Hooked On Phonics for you, child".  3.  "Sexy, Lonely, Horny, Farm Girls" I replied to this one, because I've been on the lookout.  It seems that I can always find Sexy, Lonely Farm Girls, but they are rarely Horny.  And I can certainly locate Sexy, Horny Farm Girls, but they just aren't Lonely.  And Tunisia is positively teeming with Lonely, Horny Farm Girls, but they never seem to be Sexy enough.  But now?  It's all there for me.  And I want it. 2.  "Game Over" Saddam.  T-shirts.  IRAQ." I was befuddled by this subject line until they clarified, in capital letters, that they are selling T-shirts that are targeted at Saddam Hussein from IRAQ.  I had thought, at first, that they were referring to Saddam Jones, who has certainly pissed me off a time or two, but isn't very famous outside of Tecumseh, Kansas.  I'm also pleased that someone is finally doing something to show that Iraqi bastard that we mean business.  Nothing will speed this war up like a "Game Over, Saddam" T-shirt.  I assume the troops are wearing those. You know and I know that the shirts would sell better if the word "Game" was replaced with "Bend." 1.  "Jim, View Photos Of Singles In Your Area" Really, it's all about context.  I, of course, clicked on the website, because I am looking for singles in my area.  And here's what I found: 18 yo SMF.  Looking for SMM for fun, prayer, and jihad.  Get to know me better and look under the veil, where you will find another, prettier veil.  Americans need not apply.  Call my father at 71 744 422, and ask for permission to speak to me through him. OK, OK, I'm kidding.  Everything in Tunisia is thoroughly modern.  I've never seen any women here in chadoor.  Nevertheless, the notion of "Finding Singles in Your Area" probably applies quite a bit more to, say, Santa Monica than it does Tunis, Tunisia.  2:46:30 PM    Let's hear it. []

Let me recommend two things worth reading. First, Talking Points Memo.  TPM is a blog by Josh Marshall, and it's fantastic.  He's sort of an outsider/insider, and his blog is powerfully written and incredibly informative.  And I'm absolutely shocked at how similar his political beliefs and my political beliefs seem to be.  In catching up today, TPM referred me to this: http://slate.msn.com/id/2080814 which is an article on Slate by Fred Kaplan about last summer's war games, designed to test the war plan being utilized in Iraq.  It's an eye-opener.  I'll leave it at that. 1:17:10 PM    Let's hear it. []