Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Believe me, I have no intimacy hangups. But here's what I hate: formal kissing as a greeting. I hate that shit. See, the way I think it should work, you have a handshake relationship with people until you reach the stage where it's a hug relationship. There is an awkward transition time between those two, as you know ("Should I hug? Or still with the handshake?"). There are very few people I would ever consider kissing on the cheek, outside of my family. Being here in Tunisia has thrown this all into chaos. Americans here seem to have "gone native", meaning they've taken on the tradition of the locals and tend to offer the quick kiss on both cheeks as away of saying hello. This creates fantastically awkward situations, where one person leans in for the buss, and the other person, usually me, sticks a hand out. It also creates another fantastically awkward situation, whereby two people try to kiss on the wrong cheek, and end up with the near miss on the mouth. From my perspective, the buss on both cheeks does not, despite its intended goal, result in a more friendly and intimate hello. Instead, it creates this preposterous formality. I can't just say "Hey, how are you, good to see you." I have to go make out with everyone at the party, you know? More than once, I've seen this stupid scene where somebody shows up to a social engagement, and then goes around the room doing the double kiss with every person there. If I'm sitting down, I have to stand up to do the deed with someone I don't really know, and then sit down and wait for someone else to come by, demanding my lips. It's not even a real kiss most of the time--it's usually the air kiss. In fact, once when I actually did make lip contact with a woman's cheek, I got a look like I'd done something racy. It's all so silly. I have a couple of friends who hate the fact that local men give each other the double kiss. That's dumb. I don't care about that at all. And I don't mind that there is a cultural difference here--I'll do the double air kiss with a non-American if that's what is expected. But we're Americans, goddamnit. We shake hands, or we offer a rough hug, or we just say "What's up?" We don't do the fake kiss. 11:29:35 AM    Let's hear it. []