Sunday, March 16, 2003

Unintended consequences? What if we stopped buying middle eastern oil? Would they suddenly be knocking politely on our door? "Our oil is good as Argentina's! We give you better price!" They don't know how to do anything other than drill for that oil and sell it. Actually, they probably only know how to sell it. They don't have enough well-intentioned people to break the pattern of oil-oligarchy vs. unwashed-Islamic-fanatic-masses-kept-in-ignorance... and you can bet that Uncle Sam isn't going to sponsor a democracy over there, in spite of the desperate lies of George Bush. Wouldn't the way to break down the Islamic nations be to boycott their main source of income? That would be the sort of thing I would think people are referring to when they keep talking about how Americans have not been asked to make any sacrifices in this "war on terror." But if we stop buying their oil, where will we get oil to keep the nation going? Couldn't we fake it until they come crawling to us? And then stick out our tongues and go, "WE GOT HYDROGEN FUEL CELLS!!! NYAAH NYAAH! Now who's the INFIDEL, Mohammed?!" Oh -- but that's just assuming that we will not have been vaporized by that time by Kim's ill dong or whatever that OTHER nutcase's name is. 12:33:32 AM    comment []

The Solution I know I've said I've got the solution before. But this time, I've really done it. I've got it. It is very, very simple, very easy, and will decrease the cost of government dramatically, which should make right wingers everywhere ecstatic. We will have a new law that REQUIRES (with ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS) all lawmakers, as well as all members of our executive and judicial branches of government, to either walk or ride their bicycles everywhere they go. OR they may take public transportation. But under no circumstances will they be allowed to drive in private vehicles, or use army vehicles, or airplanes or helicopters or limousines. The punishment for being caught cheating will be to have to wear a big red "F" for Fossil Fuels on the chest. And to sit in the town square, pilloried, with a dunce cap on, until CNN covers the story. This will ensure a long and drawn out punishment. If we do this, America, our energy problems should be solved very shortly. 12:21:05 AM    comment []

Utopia Whenever I start talking about Utopia it drives The Raisin crazy. He usually blesses my comments box with some patronizing criticism. Mostly that I'm too naive and that such suggestions are obvious, and therefore boring, not to mention unrealistic. Don't I realize that overhauling global economic trade agreements would lead to total chaos, etc. Well, I've had enough. If that little dried fruit starts up with me again, I'm going to throw him in a bowl with some oatmeal and pour cold milk on top. Where I was going with all that Survivor Caught Nappin and Sustainable Energy stuff was where I'm usually going with it: to Utopia again, Raisin. Utopia or bust. I just wanted to say that maybe we should give ourselves something to do, like the people on those survival and reality shows do, that is actually HARD WORK. Something challenging! Give guys something to do that wears them out all over. Driving in traffic doesn't qualify. Neither does tapping a keyboard all day long. No wonder we have such a nation of psychotically aggressive men! They don't have anywhere to release that aggression. They don't get to be real men anywhere, at any time any more. They need to chop wood and carry water. And we will have real women again when we start bossing the men around, because that is what women are for. To boss the men around and direct things. As soon as that is all set right again, we'll all feel much, much better. You men will be surprised how good you are going to feel. And you are feeling very, very sleepy. Your eyelids are very heavy and you will repeat after me, "Women are the boss. No matter what. Women are way smarter than men, and better people, too. Men are bad and cannot be left in charge." Good. This is certainly what is known as utopia for many people. But I digress. I just strayed over into the hypnosis portion of this program a little too early, I think. Sorry if I scared anyone. MWAhahahahaha. But really, what if we decided to create the first fuel cell powered vehicles IMMEDIATELY? Do you REALLY think it's going to take 20 years, like the New York Times said today? Come on! Those pricks at the pentagon can get a state of the art bomb invented in a couple of weeks! Why can't we use our money for developing new sustainable/renewable energy technologies, instead of blowing up Iraq to get more oil, which causes the same old set of problems, and is not sustainable or renewable? Maybe we should all walk and ride bikes until that happens. Better yet, maybe we should require the legislative, executive and judicial branches of the government to, until it does. Maybe we would all be tired and happy and proud of ourselves, instead of marching around cursing our leaders and trying to prevent them from making unnecessary war. How stupid can you get? This is the utopia of stupid, short-sighted and selfish retards. 12:03:27 AM    comment []