Thursday, October 16, 2003

Essence of Fiona Tonight I had dinner with a friend who wanted to talk to me about how reading my post of 10/8 (In the Moon Hut) had influenced her. She had been having a seizure of worry brought on by an unauthorized act of compassion that she indulged in at work. A co-worker suffering from a debilitating illness needed papers signed to get disability insurance. She OK'd it even though she knew she should ask higher up -- I think because she knew that the higher-ups wouldn't OK it. She expressed to me that the callousness of the higher-ups in her company towards their workers was not really acceptable to her. I felt the pain. I said how glad I am to be separated from that kind of environment, even though I have no financial security... no health insurance, etc. I may crash and burn, but I'll do so having had some peace and damn quiet professionally. How I hate the brutality of the corporate workplace. Anyway, as much as I sit here and pound away passionately on the keys, I never know who's out there reading what I've sweated over, or even suspect that my rantings could possibly help anyone else. Just glad for the happy surprise. Kind of like winning that accordion trophy for playing so badly. So I came home from that conversation with a margarita in me and wrote that mad poem, below, and then I took a look back over what I've been offering all the poor unsuspecting readers out there and decided it would be fun to post for you only the last sentences of all the current entries. Random slices of ruminations a la Fi-Fi. Kind of like a surrealist parlour game. Exquisite corpse. Essence of Fiona. Help. Have a wonderful day! I have to stay in my townhouse all day, but I don't have to stay in the Moon Hut. Bush's foreign policy and especially his pre-emptive strike doctrine is going to bring a lot of big ugly mutated chickens home to roost. The he-man turns pussycat and curls up in their lap. It's interesting that I'm not more warped as a result, but I guess that is a relative perspective. I'm going to pretend I'm her for the afternoon. They all have sparkly eyes. Turnabout's fair play! Every once in a while she comes out to make some royal pronouncement, presumably from the Undisclosed Location, where I suspect that she may be running a top secret Stepford Wives cloning laboratory. 9:44:27 PM    comment []

Private Prayers of Desperation (This poem brought to you by tequila.) Dear Goddess I know I'm an asshole I'm not worthy of your attention I squander the intelligence you blessed me with to watch TV and be hateful I know I'm a jerk I ignore the suffering of others below me on the economic scale and decadently shop for things that other humans have made in pain for low wages Goddess Please don't strike me down I do care What can I do, Goddess? What? What can one person do to fight the injustice? What can I little powerless person do to make the rain forest grow again? To bring back the dodo bird and shrink the ozone hole? How can I feed the millions of starving? Why do more powerful people take things away from those in need? Why can't you get the economic elite to help those in need? Are you incompetent, my Goddess? Are you there? Heresy! I doubt you sometimes. 8:24:46 PM    comment []

Blessed Silence (For a Minute) There has been a temporary reduction in the propaganda noise level. I just realized what's been missing the last few days: frenzied news coverage of the California gubernatorial recall contest. The TV news media though are doing their best to fill the void with lavish coverage of the Kobe Bryant rape case. Both of these matters are disturbing to me in a variety of ways, but mainly because of the harmful stereotypes about women that these men (and in one case his female lawyer) are perpetuating in their own self-interest. They all ought to be ashamed of themselves, and the American public too for supporting them. It's disgusting to me. I saw Arnold dis a reporter at his first news conference after being installed. The guy had shouted out something about the sexual allegations against the Man of Steel, who replied over his shoulder as he left the room: "Old news." This coming I think a day or two after his campaign had pledged to straighten out that matter immediately if he were to win. Excuse me while I snort with derision. Did anyone really believe that? I am very uncomfortable lately with the way powerful men are manipulating public opinion in derogatory ways about women and their rights. These two news stories -- Arnold's groping and Kobe's violent philandering -- are both about guilty men getting off the hook by minimizing the hurts they have inflicted on the opposite sex, whether through arrogance or wrong-headed sense of entitlement or just plain lack of ethics. Re: Kobe Bryant: why is no one discussing HIS sexual activity immediately preceding the alleged rape? What is a married man doing having sex with a teenager in a hotel room? Isn't that sleazy? Shouldn't HE know better? Since when is it up to the 19-year-old girl to have good judgment? Why are people defending him so venomously? Re: Arnold Schwarzzenegger: is it enough to make a blanket sound-bite TV apology to all the women you've abused and humiliated? Beyond sexual issues: What about your connections to Enron and the White House? What are you going to get out of this? Forget Arnold's sex peccadilloes. He can crony with the best of them, obviously. This is one sharp condom full of walnuts. There has been a mighty effort to play down the connections between the Terminator's power play and the White House. Arianna Huffington got slapped down during the debate for trying to bring it up. Arnold kept shouting over her that he had no connection to the Bush administration and that he would govern California as his own man. But one of Arnie's handlers was a prominent congressman. What is a prominent congressman (and Bush team player) doing taking time out from his responsibilities to his constituents to help a celebrity become governor of California? And what about the story Greg Palast floated (scroll down for link) -- that Arnold was backed by the White House because they saw him as a sure thing winner and got him to promise to pardon Enron's $9B debt to the state as soon as he became the gov? At his meeting with the shrub today, do you suppose they will be discussing his REWARD? Perhaps they will be finalizing the details of the Enron pardon. Why does Bush consent to meet in a hotel room? It looks so sleazy. Why didn't Arnold fly to DC? Are they afraid the Oval Office is bugged? Looks like Arnie's got the administration by the short ones already. If it happens, it will come as no surprise eventually to hear Jay Leno announce (at the eleventh hour, of course -- Hollywood melodrama) that The Terminator is running for President of the United States in 2004. Another pop-politics ambush would be so predictable. It's easy to see that a celebrity of such magnitude is either a real threat or a powerful asset, if they can get him on their side, to the administration. One can only hope that Arnold is a liberal in disguise, with a master plan for attaining power and then reversing Bush policy. That might explain why his wife is so supportive of him having a political career on the GOP ticket? But nothing in my opinion could ever explain why she would want to be with such a crass, idiotic muscleneck... No sense getting brain damage trying to figure it out... Politics, social relations, esteem of women, it's all become such a nasty, horrible mess since GWB became the president. The country is breaking down. America the Ugly. Goddess, shed your grace on us, if you can muster the compassion, if you have an iota of mercy left, if you can summon up one last molecule of patience. If you haven't already sent your kneecapper Kali down to destroy us in our utterly obnoxious ignorance. Please. Help. 8:52:28 AM    comment []