Friday, July 6, 2007

Mother Shipton by Fiona Mother Shipton's Prophecies Mother Shipton [ca. 1486-1561] was a legendary English witch and soothsayer, known as the Yorkshire Sibyl. Her mother, Agatha, was reputed to be a witch. An 18th century biographer described her appearance in these words: "Her stature was larger than common, her body crooked, her face frightful, but her understanding extraordinary." Her prophecy of the future: ...For in those wondrous far off days The women shall adopt a craze To dress like men, and trousers wear And to cut off their locks of hair. They'll ride astride with brazen brow As witches do on broomstick now... ...There'll be a sign for all to see Be sure that it will certain be. Then love shall die and marriage cease And nations wane as babes decrease. And wives shall fondle cats and dogs And men live much the same as hogs. This is from Mother Shipton's poem about the End Times, which is pretty dire in its predictions. I picked out maybe the only humorous part... The rest is all doom and gloom. Sure seems like I know a lot of single women with dogs. And a lot of single guys who live like dogs. Nobody can stand each other. The time of Mother Shipton's prophecy may have arrived. The dogs provide unconditional love and seem to be a convenient place to unload unruly emotions that build up in the hamster wheel cubicles of hell all day long, week in, week out, year in, etc. They do all the inappropriate things that we are not allowed to do, like humping people's legs and unexpectedly grabbing food off of people's plates. It's cathartically entertaining to watch them do this stuff. But think about it... Wouldn't it be great to have your inappropriate behavior laughed off? I would love to grab the meat off some senator's plate some time and woof it down right in front of him before he could get me. Mmm-mm! And someone would scold me a little but everyone would LAUGH! Except the senator, who might scowl a little bit but then would get over it because he could afford to buy another filet mignon. So anyway I let my dog do kind of bad things sometimes. It's good for me, too. However, I can't tolerate the things some men do... Dogs are easy. I can deal with my furry little friend. I will scold him a little and then I will laugh. Let him have his fun. "My Dog Spot" sketch by Fiona 10:37:30 PM    comment []